The Summer That Never Was, Turning Six and Too Much Squash

Every day Facebook pops up these reminders, “Six years ago today…….” Pictures and memories flood back. I see my kids with their tiny round faces or a memory with friends I hadn’t thought about well, since last year when Facebook reminded me.

Some of the things I’ve posted on Facebook (especially in the early years) were kind of dumb. “I’m eating chicken and green beans tonight.” “I went to Target. It was fun.” Who cares what I ate on April 12th, 2010 and duh, Target is always fun. Why did I post about it?

I’ve honed my Facebooking status craft since then.

Then I get some reminders, like the one I got last week:

June 20, 2011

Had a great visit w/ Lil last nite. She thinks were at a hotelLOL They took out all my IV ports and put in a pick line; but its giving me tachycardia. Had 2 xrays and ekg & they may try to move it a little. Not painful, just uncomfortable. But its all good cuz we get to see Lil soon:)

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I get these memory reminders every June and July. It was our crazy summer from 6 years ago, when Henry was born. I sometimes call it The Summer That Never Was.

He was supposed to be born in September. He was born in June.

I was supposed to be in my home town hospital with my family waiting in the next room while Andy and I welcomed baby number 2 into the world. Instead I was 2 hours away confined to a hospital room and spending most of my time in bed.  When I gave birth to Henry, none of my family was there, not even Andy.

 

I was supposed to hold him in my arms when he saw the world for the first time. Instead I was still asleep from the anesthesia when he was born and wouldn’t see him for hours. I would see him later that day but would only be able to touch him gently with my fingers through a hole in his isolet. I wouldn’t hold him for days.

It was like God hit pause on the movie of our life that June. Everything that was normal, routine or familiar just stopped. Everything changed in an instant.

Getting a pic-line put in (which was actually very scary for me) was the new normal. Going two floors down to the NICU each day to see my son and hold him while he was being fed through a tube was now the new normal.

In August, the pause button was pushed again and life resumed. We brought Henry home. The movie of our life began to play again. I left my home at the beginning of that summer not being able to possibly fathom or imagine what our family would go through and learn. At the end of the summer we came home; but now everything was different. I was different.

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Now he’s turning six. How does this happen? How does time slip by so quickly?

This kid, he’s a force. He’s brought me before the Lord on my knees countless times. I don’t think he’s going to live a quiet or subdued life. He’s sweet and compassionate. He has an over abundance of energy. He’s awfully stubborn. He’s loud and can be overly sensitive. He’s smart and inquisitive. He’s the best cuddler. Did I mention he’s stubborn? I want to laugh and cry as I type this.

I love this little wisp of a boy so much. It literally hurts.

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He’s gotten really good at telling jokes lately and he likes to tell us really long versions of his dreams. I’m sure he’s making most of it up. I don’t care, I just like to hear him talk in that sweet high voice of his. He knows every name of every sea creature that ever was. I’m not exaggerating about this.

He gives the best hugs. He still needs naps. He’s want to do EVERYTHING on his own. (I think I’ve already mentioned that he’s stubborn.)

He’s been stubborn since day one at 3 1/2 pounds.

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He tells me I’m his best friend. My heart melts. He’s sentimental, like me.

He loves to go on errands with his dad. One of my favorite things he does is watch Andy through the window when he goes to work at night. He yells, “Bye, dad. I will miss you.” He says that when he grows up he wants to be a cop like his daddy. Heart melts again.

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This summer my biggest concern has been that I planted my squash plants too close together and my garden is being overrun by beautiful yellow summer squash.

What a far cry from our summer six years ago. That summer seems like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time.

I’m thankful for that summer, though. I’m thankful for the way it changed our family. I’m thankful for the way it made me see my Heavenly Father. I see Him as such a good Father. So good and giving us good things. Not always easy things; but good things. I saw Him time and again bring good from bad. Bring blessings from hard places. Bring peace from the scariest of places. Bring joy from despair.

It changed my perspective greatly. It changed me deeply.

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What’s your summer been like? Good, bad? Hard, amazing? Wherever you’re at, it’s where God wants you to be at this moment. Lean into Him for strength. Praise him for the blessings.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, H. We are so blessed to have you be a part of our family. This mama loves you more than you know.

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