The other night my sister and I went to the movies and afterwards she drove me home. For a fleeting moment I felt a twinge of jealousy. I was jealous of her clean car.

Her car shined. I mean, it literally gleamed.

As I slid into the front seat I noticed how good it smelled. There was not a trace of dust, the odd shoe or run away basketball to be seen.

My van on the other hand is….. what’s the word I’m looking for? Well, let’s just say it looks “lived in”. I guess that’s two words.

Of course, I realize we are in two very different stages of life.

My sister’s kids are grown and no longer living at home. She’s the only one who drives her car. She has a little bit more time than I do to do things, like clean her car.

My van takes kids to soccer games and dogs to the vet. It makes beach trips and serves as a truck for our frequent trips to home depot as we are (forever) working on our house. It carries other kids. It takes our own hungry kids through the drive-thru. It carts around groceries, muddy hiking boots and library books. Lots of library books.

We drove home from the beach not that long ago and our van stunk! It reeked of wet dogs, and sea shells. Trust me on this one. Those two smells are not a pleasant combination.

I’m sure my sister’s car did the same thing back in the day.

Lately, I’ve realized that no matter how much planning, picking up, or new housework routine I employ, my house and life (and van) continues to look “lived in”. There are brief moments when my living room looks like the ones I pin on Pinterest. These moments are fleeting, though, and only last if no one is actually at home. And while I keep trying to fix that “lived in” look of my life, I think I’ve finally realized that a life lived is going to look lived in.

So, I’ve really been trying to change my perspective. Because while there is not much in life I can control; my perspective is one thing I can.

Here we go then. Let’s give this a try.

The van full of sand and dog hair = Fun trips to the beach, priceless memories made, and happy pups.

Basketballs rolling around the back of the van = Watching my kids play basketball on Saturday mornings and enjoying the fact that they are healthy and happy.

The colossal tumbleweeds of dust bunnies under my couch = I haven’t spent all my time cleaning and have spent some time snuggling on that couch instead of cleaning underneath it.

Shoes in a pile by the front door= All those shoes belong to my loud and energetic kids. One day the pile will be very small and the house will be much quieter. I will miss those fun and chaotic days. (Ok, I’m crying now. Happy?)

Smudges on the sliding glass door= We have a back yard that we enjoy relaxing in and the kids love playing in. Those hand prints and puppy nose smudges mean we use the back yard a lot.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for keeping a tidy home. I’m an avid believer of having a clean sink before I go to bed. A clean house is good, most days. A perfectly clean house at all times, well that’s just a lot of work and quite frankly, exhausting.

Nobody’s last words as they lay on their death bed were, “I wish I had mopped my floor more.”

If my house looks lived in that means I’ve been out enjoying my life. (It could also mean I’ve been binge watching Netflix; but you get the point.)