April 2020 – The Accidental Domestic

As I sat and read a book last night at 5:30 pm (which never happened in my Pre-Corona life), The Hubs came home from work and we chatted about our days.

Though nothing really different is happening during my day to day, I feel like I’m finally set into a routine. It’s my Shelter-in-Place routine and it’s helping. I think. Even though the routine is pretty much the same EVERY DAY, I don’t spend my days trying to figure out what I should be doing.

In my Pre-Corona life, we’d probably be rushing off to baseball practice and I’d be trying to figure out dinner. Now, we aren’t rushing anywhere and so dinner can wait while I finish chapter 2.

I literally spent the first two weeks of this Lock Down in FEAR. Real fear. I honestly didn’t think I would die if I contracted it. I did fear for others that I loved. It was utter confusion and every day something else got locked down or cancelled. Every day the walls around our life shrank in around us. I spent my days on Facebook and my nights wide awake.

Oh Facebook. I’m coming back around to you.

Though it didn’t completely go away, the fear started to subside. Then came the venturing out into the world to shop. Some people wore gloves and masks. Everyone started to disinfect their groceries. And I kept wondering when I was going to wake up? Zoom Calls replaced baseball practice. No one can find toilet paper. And what day is it again?

Where do you go when you are so disconnected? You go to places where you can connect like Facebook, Instagram and Zoom Calls.

Oh Facebook. Everyone thinks they are the expert.

Then came the sad and sobering realization that things are not going back to normal any time soon or ever? That thought gave me the greatest fear.

Now before I go on, I have to say that these past 5 weeks of Quarantine have made me realize there are things I do not miss and do not plan on going back to. I don’t want things to go back to exactly how they were but I miss the library big time. I want to hug my dad. I want to go to the beach. I want to go back to church.

We’ve realized, if we haven’t already, that main stream media is extremely biased and honestly not trustworthy news. Where do you get the facts and not the hype?

The arguments swirled around me every time I hopped on the internet, especially Facebook. You see posts from people urging everyone to just stay home; the virus is everywhere. Meanwhile there are loud voices demanding we open up, we get back to business, the government is trying to control us.

Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear.

The truth for me was that I was going to the wrong place to get my answers and my assurances. I want to know how this all ends. I was going to people instead of God.

This post isn’t about what I think about our government and who I agree or disagree with. Honestly, I’m somewhere in the middle. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is where I place my fear and worry and whether I let it control me or not.

Do I stick my head in the sand and just ignore what is going on? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I believe we should do our research to the best of our ability and know what’s going on in our world, our government, and our community. How do you ignore what’s going on right now? It’s impossible and foolish to do so.

I had to filter. I had to filter what I listened to and how often I listened to it. There was too much noise. Too many voices trying to be heard.

I needed to practice Faith Over Fear. Me looking to information and concrete answers (which there are none at this point) was me needing to be in control. I needed to ask, how would Jesus have me respond? And I just couldn’t focus my mind and heart with all the noise, with everyone’s opinions, and with all the Facebook posts that people post. Guess what? People, for the most part, are going to post things that support what they already believe. So when you aren’t sure what to think, this is dangerous ground.

This is what I’ve done this past week. If it helps just one person or you can take one thing away from this blog post, I’m happy.

1.) I’m limiting my time on Facebook and I’m about to take a complete break.

Lily and I are doing these Facebook Lives every Thursday. We are doing DIYs and it’s been really fun. Other than that, I’m trying to stay off Facebook. If I post, I post something encouraging. Facebook was giving me anxiety as I would get lost down the rabbit hole of reading posts. I took Facebook off my phone as well. Once, we are done doing our LIVES in April a good clean break might be in order.

2.) If you constantly post politically posts, I snooze you.

Sorry, friends. That’s the way it has to be.

3.) I’m trying to focus on just a few places where I feel I can get reliable news.

This is very hard to find; but resources are out there. I need to know what’s going on and I’m totally okay with differing opinions. I just want the facts and not the drama. Don’t try to get me riled up. I’m already riled up!!!

I have a friend who I follow on Instagram. I know her heart and she’s a wealth of knowledge. She has a holistic approach to health and I appreciate the knowledge she shares. I don’t feel scared when I read her posts. I feel empowered.

4.) I’m just digging in the Bible and reading things that bolster my faith.

God has reminded me that I need to think back on all the ways God has been faithful in my life. He never changes. So I don’t need to worry or question His faithfulness now. Whatever he does is for our good and His greatest glory.

I’m reading Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick, the New Testament, and watching the The Chosen series. All three of these things have been encouraging me to seek God and have been reminding me of the great love He has for me.

5.) I’ve been gardening and it’s saving me.

Except for the happy sounds of my kiddos, my garden is quiet and peaceful. Being outside with my puppy Mac next to me and my hands in the dirt has been therapeutic!!! Gardening is a lot of tending and waiting. It requires patience and diligence before you get to any blooms and harvest. This has not been lost on me during this time of waiting.

6.) Stay connected.

I’m honestly so over Zoom calls. We need them, though. Our kids need to see their friends. I need to stay connected to my family and friends. Seeing H Lego Zoom with his friends is adorable. Lily is missing her friends greatly. Zoom is helping.

Our weekly on-line church with Pastor Josh, our weekly Fellowship Group Zoom and Youthgroup Zooms are the most important parts of our week. We need to stay connected!

7.) Memes

Okay this is silly; but Memes are my favorite right now. They are meaningful, deep, and ridiculous all at the same time and I absolutely love them.

8.) Serve Others

There has never been a better time to serve others than now. We can do it from 6 feet apart, too.

Do you need to filter out the noise? Maybe it’s not Facebook. Maybe it’s another area. Our minds weren’t meant to be overloaded with information. Our hearts weren’t meant to be in a constant state of fear and worry. Since I’ve limited my time on Social Media, especially Facebook, I’ve been much, much happier.

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace

those whose minds are steadfast,

because they trust you.

He promises to give us wisdom if we ask. Do we believe it? Yes, we need to decide what we believe and where we stand. Are we okay with not having all the answers, right now? Are we content in the waiting?

Psalm 16:8

I will keep my

eyes always on

the Lord.

3 Things I learned this winter.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind This Spring

3 Weeks Of Shelter In Place

Originally, my plan was to post “What I Learned This Winter” at the beginning of March. Then Corona hit. I got mmmm….just a little distracted. I finally sat down and hammered out some thoughts about all that was going on and posted that here. So, while I’m already working on “What I Learned This Spring”, ( This spring has been epic and life changing and we are only 3 weeks in.) I still wanted to post this.

It’s all still true. Though now posting about what I learned during the winter kind of seems trivial and light – hearted amid all that’s going on. A little levity may be what we all need right now. That and a reminder that hopefully life will go somewhat back to normal in the future.

So here’s 3 Things I Learned This Winter, 3 Things I Want To Leave Behind, and a 3 Weeks Shelter In Place Update (for posterity).

3 Things I Learned This Winter:

My goal was to post 5-7 things I learned; but my brain is muddled with the latest Corona count, how to disinfect my groceries, and homeschooling my kids during isolation. So, this is what you get.

Sometimes You Just Need To Start.

I’m a planner, list maker and backwards planner. I’ve got my monthly goals, my weekly goals, and my daily goals all written out in my favorite colored pens. I’m learning that all the planning the world doesn’t do me any good if I don’t just start already! Just start. Even if I don’t have a plan. This has been hard for me. I’m a work in progress.

Note: I’m laughing at my goal making right now because what my planner usually looks like and what it looks like now is quite different. Now, I just plan Zoom calls.

2. I’ve Missed Reading A Really Good Page Turner.

I’ve missed reading in general. I’ve been doing more of it and it’s made me really, really happy. Recently I read Woman in the Window. It was a suspenseful page turner. I wasn’t reading to understand something better or gain knowledge. I was just reading for fun.

Note: I’ve definitely had more time to read these last few weeks.

3. Getting Older Sucks; But I’m Not Alone.

I stepped out of the car and somehow twisted my ankle. I started to chase my 8 year old at the park and realized my legs weren’t working right somehow. I twisted my knee getting up from sitting on the ground. I’m getting older; but come on! It seems like the 40’s is also code for “body parts wearing down”. I know I’m not alone here. I think I need to start exercising more than once a week.

Note: Since our Shelter In Place 22 days ago I’ve done a lot more walking. Thanks, Corona Virus, for upping my exercise game. Also, I chased Henry down the road today and did not pull a thing or get winded. Improvement!

3 Things I Want To Leave Behind

Worry

Can I say leave behind Covid-19?

I’d really like to kick that one in the mouth, to the curb, and off the side of a cliff. Ok, I don’t have the power to do that. I am, however, working on leaving WORRY behind. I’ve had enough sleepless nights and anxious thoughts in the past 24 + days to confirm, yet again, that me worrying doesn’t change a single thing. This is not easy to do. AT ALL!!! God has been working on my unbelieving heart. “Are you going to say that you trust me? Or are you actually going to do it? Are you going to lay it at my feet, each day? Each hour? Do you really believe I’m as big and powerful as you say I am?”

2. Hating My Age

Ever since 40 I’ve spent each birthday like I was facing impending doom. About a month prior to the day, I’ve wondered in disbelief on how I got here so quickly? How did my face get like this? Why is my arm skin hanging like that? I have to dye my roots already. Ugghhh….. 40’s.

I’m kinda sick of the negative self talk. Honestly, this virus has showed us all, about as clear as can be, that we do not know when our last day is our last day. I’m done dreading the age. I’m celebrating it. I’m 46! I just spent my birthday in quarantine and it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

3. Eating Out So Much

Ha! Yes, this is me being funny. We’ve been ordering from a local restaurant once a week; but other than that it’s me, cooking, all the time…….

3 Weeks Into Quarantine Looks Like:

Making Bath Bombs With Lily

Taking Walks. This is from our last hike we took in a park in Napa. Shortly after this, all the parks were closed. Rain or shine, we get our walks in.