So, what’s getting you through these trying times known as 2020?
Today is the 3rd anniversary of The Tubbs Fire. This was the wildfire that forever changed my hometown, my county, and our community. Things haven’t been the same since. Fire season is now a very real and constant threat for us.
5 days ago our family got back after being evacuated from our home for 6 days due to the Glass Fire here in Northern California.
This was taken from our front porch. The fire came over the hill to about a mile from our house.
August and September had already been a doozy of a month from smoke from another fire, power outages, and well, the list goes on.
I saw the fire coming over the hill just about a mile from our house Sunday night. Our power went out and so we packed up and went to a friend’s house for the night until Andy got off work. With our two big dogs, it’s hard to find a place to stay when these evacuations happen. Thankfully this time around Andy had the week off so we took the Shangri-La and headed for bluer skies. We spent the week up near Tahoe and had an unexpected EvacuCation. I’m very thankful we had a place to go and that we could all be together. I’m grateful we had a home to come home to.
The Shangri-La. Our home away from home.Snow Flower LakeWe are not strangers to camping.
Coming back left Andy and I feeling really tired, physically and mentally. The time away was nice; but being evacuated is not relaxing in the least.
It has taken me these 5 days to begin to feel like life is getting back to somewhat normal. There were some added bumps to the already bumpy week. When we returned home we had unexpected car trouble and a very unexpected trip to the doctor with X-rays to boot.
I seriously cannot make this stuff up. 2020 has been like a very bad comic book written by a drunk person.
So, I RESET.
I have to.
I have to start over, start new, put the crazy weeks behind me and just do the next right thing I know to do.
We are getting our house back together. I’m doing my best to get back to our school routine. I’m giving myself a butt load of grace because….. car problems and unexpected Dr. visits.
I get back to MY ROUTINES. I’ve been working on my routines here. Routines help to put some structure back into our life when things get chaotic.
I bought some REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS and put them in the fridge because I like my chocolate cold. Stress eating? Maybe. It’s helping, though.
I’m admitting that I can’t do it all and that I’m tired. We are all tired.
I’m choosing rest over getting it all done. (After I caught up on laundry and grocery shopping. Food and clean underwear are a priority.)
Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
** This was 25 days before I actually had Henry. I had no idea the crazy ride we were about to embark on. I’ve copied and pasted exactly was I wrote (on my previous blog) and haven’t changed a thing. You can see my old blog here if you like Sock Monkey Tales.
June 4, 2011
Just 94 days to go! That’s when Bauer Boy should make his grand entrance. (That’s what I have to call him since Andy and I are no where close to agreeing on a name.) I can’t believe I’m down to mere weeks. 13 1/2 to be exact.
This also means 94 days to be on the couch. I’m still in a bit of shock to be quite honest. One day I’m in my classroom packing things up and sorting papers, thinking of all my summer plans that I’m about to embark on. Next day, I find myself at Kaiser lying in a hospital bed only being able to get up to use the bathroom.
Because of the placenta previa I have and the fact that I started bleeding (And I just have to say, it didn’t seem like that much to me. But according to the doctor it was enough) I am now on bed rest for the next 94 days.
94 days seems like forever.
I will be very honest, I really haven’t been able to see the silver lining in this. I’ve been….blue.
Pity Party for one, calling Pity Party for one!
First of all, I am SO THANKFUL that Bauer Boy is fine. He’s moving and kicking and looks great. When I get to feeling sorry for myself or mad that I can’t do the things I was looking forward to doing, I remind myself (as the doctor did) that I don’t want to have a baby at 26 weeks. He’s still safe inside, cooking away, as he should be.
It was all the things I was looking forward to doing, especially with Lily. Our family vacation and trip to see my sister in Colorado… cancelled. Going to the library and working in the garden with Lily…. cancelled. I could go on, but I won’t. I have to look at the bright side or this will be one sad summer.
Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. Psalm 116:7 This verse has been comforting to me. The Lord has been good. I have lots and family and friends around to help. Andy, who up until now has worked graveyard shifts, is on the day shift for the next month. How awesome is that?? I won’t be alone at nights. No dishes to do or cleaning the bathroom. All I have to do is fold the laundry, not put it away (which was the part I hated doing).
It’s just 94 days, right? A drop in the bucket in the big scheme of things.
Things don’t “just happen”. And I know that. God has a reason and something to teach me and the people around me.
As I sat and read a book last night at 5:30 pm (which never happened in my Pre-Corona life), The Hubs came home from work and we chatted about our days.
Though nothing really different is happening during my day to day, I feel like I’m finally set into a routine. It’s my Shelter-in-Place routine and it’s helping. I think. Even though the routine is pretty much the same EVERY DAY, I don’t spend my days trying to figure out what I should be doing.
In my Pre-Corona life, we’d probably be rushing off to baseball practice and I’d be trying to figure out dinner. Now, we aren’t rushing anywhere and so dinner can wait while I finish chapter 2.
I literally spent the first two weeks of this Lock Down in FEAR. Real fear. I honestly didn’t think I would die if I contracted it. I did fear for others that I loved. It was utter confusion and every day something else got locked down or cancelled. Every day the walls around our life shrank in around us. I spent my days on Facebook and my nights wide awake.
Oh Facebook. I’m coming back around to you.
Though it didn’t completely go away, the fear started to subside. Then came the venturing out into the world to shop. Some people wore gloves and masks. Everyone started to disinfect their groceries. And I kept wondering when I was going to wake up? Zoom Calls replaced baseball practice. No one can find toilet paper. And what day is it again?
Where do you go when you are so disconnected? You go to places where you can connect like Facebook, Instagram and Zoom Calls.
Oh Facebook. Everyone thinks they are the expert.
Then came the sad and sobering realization that things are not going back to normal any time soon or ever? That thought gave me the greatest fear.
Now before I go on, I have to say that these past 5 weeks of Quarantine have made me realize there are things I do not miss and do not plan on going back to. I don’t want things to go back to exactly how they were but I miss the library big time. I want to hug my dad. I want to go to the beach. I want to go back to church.
We’ve realized, if we haven’t already, that main stream media is extremely biased and honestly not trustworthy news. Where do you get the facts and not the hype?
The arguments swirled around me every time I hopped on the internet, especially Facebook. You see posts from people urging everyone to just stay home; the virus is everywhere. Meanwhile there are loud voices demanding we open up, we get back to business, the government is trying to control us.
Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear.
The truth for me was that I was going to the wrong place to get my answers and my assurances. I want to know how this all ends. I was going to people instead of God.
This post isn’t about what I think about our government and who I agree or disagree with. Honestly, I’m somewhere in the middle. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is where I place my fear and worry and whether I let it control me or not.
Do I stick my head in the sand and just ignore what is going on? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I believe we should do our research to the best of our ability and know what’s going on in our world, our government, and our community. How do you ignore what’s going on right now? It’s impossible and foolish to do so.
I had to filter. I had to filter what I listened to and how often I listened to it. There was too much noise. Too many voices trying to be heard.
I needed to practice Faith Over Fear. Me looking to information and concrete answers (which there are none at this point) was me needing to be in control. I needed to ask, how would Jesus have me respond? And I just couldn’t focus my mind and heart with all the noise, with everyone’s opinions, and with all the Facebook posts that people post. Guess what? People, for the most part, are going to post things that support what they already believe. So when you aren’t sure what to think, this is dangerous ground.
This is what I’ve done this past week. If it helps just one person or you can take one thing away from this blog post, I’m happy.
1.) I’m limiting my time on Facebook and I’m about to take a complete break.
Lily and I are doing these Facebook Lives every Thursday. We are doing DIYs and it’s been really fun. Other than that, I’m trying to stay off Facebook. If I post, I post something encouraging. Facebook was giving me anxiety as I would get lost down the rabbit hole of reading posts. I took Facebook off my phone as well. Once, we are done doing our LIVES in April a good clean break might be in order.
2.) If you constantly post politically posts, I snooze you.
Sorry, friends. That’s the way it has to be.
3.) I’m trying to focus on just a few places where I feel I can get reliable news.
This is very hard to find; but resources are out there. I need to know what’s going on and I’m totally okay with differing opinions. I just want the facts and not the drama. Don’t try to get me riled up. I’m already riled up!!!
I have a friend who I follow on Instagram. I know her heart and she’s a wealth of knowledge. She has a holistic approach to health and I appreciate the knowledge she shares. I don’t feel scared when I read her posts. I feel empowered.
4.) I’m just digging in the Bible and reading things that bolster my faith.
God has reminded me that I need to think back on all the ways God has been faithful in my life. He never changes. So I don’t need to worry or question His faithfulness now. Whatever he does is for our good and His greatest glory.
I’m reading Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick, the New Testament, and watching the The Chosen series. All three of these things have been encouraging me to seek God and have been reminding me of the great love He has for me.
5.) I’ve been gardening and it’s saving me.
Except for the happy sounds of my kiddos, my garden is quiet and peaceful. Being outside with my puppy Mac next to me and my hands in the dirt has been therapeutic!!! Gardening is a lot of tending and waiting. It requires patience and diligence before you get to any blooms and harvest. This has not been lost on me during this time of waiting.
6.) Stay connected.
I’m honestly so over Zoom calls. We need them, though. Our kids need to see their friends. I need to stay connected to my family and friends. Seeing H Lego Zoom with his friends is adorable. Lily is missing her friends greatly. Zoom is helping.
Our weekly on-line church with Pastor Josh, our weekly Fellowship Group Zoom and Youthgroup Zooms are the most important parts of our week. We need to stay connected!
7.) Memes
Okay this is silly; but Memes are my favorite right now. They are meaningful, deep, and ridiculous all at the same time and I absolutely love them.
8.) Serve Others
There has never been a better time to serve others than now. We can do it from 6 feet apart, too.
Do you need to filter out the noise? Maybe it’s not Facebook. Maybe it’s another area. Our minds weren’t meant to be overloaded with information. Our hearts weren’t meant to be in a constant state of fear and worry. Since I’ve limited my time on Social Media, especially Facebook, I’ve been much, much happier.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust you.
He promises to give us wisdom if we ask. Do we believe it? Yes, we need to decide what we believe and where we stand. Are we okay with not having all the answers, right now? Are we content in the waiting?
I woke up Monday morning and laid still in the quiet for a solid minute. I just laid there and wished that last week was a dream.
I think we all have a little of that Ground Hog’s Day feeling as we’ve woken up each morning this week.
I thought going into last week, that after the dust settled and I stocked up on food, I would hunker down and life would go on pretty much as normal. I home school. I’m used to being home during the day with my kids, teaching them. Though, we are pretty busy with outside activities, it’s not abnormal for me to be home for a couple of days without seeing friends.
Last week was rough, though. It felt like a million years long! As we are heading into week two of our three week Shelter In Place, there is one thing I know. Life is not going back to normal in 2 weeks. We don’t know what the coming weeks will bring. And that not knowing is what has me feeling anxious.
A week and a half ago:
My kids were not talking to their grandparents through window panes, not touching.
Lily and Henry were not Zoom calling their friends. (Though I think Zoom is the greatest invention.)
I had left my neighborhood and shopped at Target.
I wasn’t taking a walk everyday, smiling and saying hello to neighbors I don’t know.
I wasn’t waking up each morning and wondering what bad news I would hear today.
I wasn’t cross stitching each night and taking up embroidery next. I was always too busy with other things. Now I have just a little bit of extra time to do all the “other things”.
I was falling asleep quickly and peacefully. Now, I can’t fall asleep at night. I have this feeling of unsettle in my chest.
My calendar was bursting. Now it’s completely empty. (Except for scheduled Zoom calls.)
I wasn’t keeping track of how many days it takes us to use up a roll of toilet paper and then multiplying that by how many rolls we have left.
I was running to the store for every little thing. I also had no problem finding a can of corn!
I had never heard of social distancing.
Also… A week and half ago:
I wasn’t praying much for others, let alone the cashier at Safeway or Oliver’s.
I read about God’s peace and of course, desired it. Now it is a burning need. I can’t feel peace without Him.
I said I trusted God. Now I have to practice it. I have to really give my anxious heart to God and trust that He is sovereign and good and faithful.
I thought random thunder (that isn’t common to us here) and a flash hail storm was weird and cool. Now I’m like, “Yes, Lord? You were saying??? I’m listening.”
I’m listening.
We call “it” the The Coroni around here. That’s what H named it. I guess it lightens the mood and makes something unknown and scary seem small and a little silly.
“Take that, stupid Coroni!” he said when our trip to The Grand Canyon got cancelled.
We all have our way of coping and none of us have been through a pandemic before so I think H’s way of coping is just fine. And he’s eight.
So what do I do, heading into week two? What do I show my kids to do?
I’m going to (really try to) focus on what is true and lean into Jesus. I will remember that I have a loving God who is big and powerful and not surprised by any of this. I will pray for all those on the front lines. I will do my part by staying home.
Shelter In Place Week One: From Homeschooling to Puppies who don’t care about social distancing.
The way I process life and all it’s happenings is through writing. I also talk Andy’s ear off which is helpful for me. He’s incredibly patient.
So as I process and now talk your ear off (Thank you to those who choose to read this.), I’m realizing that last week was a week full of milestones for our family. Some big. Some small. All significant.
It was Friday night. I was beyond the point of being tired or even exhausted. I was running on fumes. The weekend was packed and had barely begun. But my body demanded I stop and rest.
The previous week we had gone camping with friends. It was such a fun trip; but let’s be real. Camping is not relaxing. It’s fun; but it’s a lot of work. And it’s dirty. And I got 19 mosquito bites.
The day we got home I got a terrible migraine, followed by another one. It was not a restful weekend. Somehow I managed to get Lily packed for Jr. High Camp (Milestone #1).
Mamas, chime in on this one. Sending your first born off for FIVE DAYS without you and probably not showering is a BIG DEAL!!! Right??? And as I’ve been saying for months, Jr. High should start in 7th grade, not 6th. Ok, that’s another issue.
But we did it. Andy and I packed her up, dropped her off and drove away. Granted she was in a cabin with best friends and her counselor was one of my former students. (Thank you, Lord!)
Just a mere two days later my almost 8 year old FINALLY learned to swim. If you didn’t read my post about it, you can read it here. (Milestone #2)
Four days later my baby turned 8. Even though I’ve specifically forbade him to do such a thing, even begged him, he defied me and turned a year older anyway. (Milestone #3)
So on the eve of H’s birthday, I lay next to Andy, just letting my weary bones be. I took time to sort my thoughts a bit. My muscles were sore from painting Lily’s room that week. I wanted to surprise her while at camp. It took much longer than I thought, though. I did it completely by myself and was pretty much over it by Wednesday. ( Though I was still painting Friday morning.) I swore I’d never paint another room again.
Me: “So much has happened this week. Lily going to camp, Henry swimming, getting ready for his birthday party, family coming in for your dad’s big day, and painting that stupid room.” (Lily loved her “stupid”, new painted room by the way, so it was worth it.)
At this point we both drifted off to sleep. Andy had worked the night before and was operating on about two hours of sleep. I was hosting an 8 years old’s birthday party the next day and needed my wits about me.
The weekend entailed a jumpy house, 8 little jumpers, baseball cupcakes, a family birthday bbq and a big baseball cake. There were presents, laughing, eating and lot of happy memories.
I have an eight year old now.
The biggest milestone (#4) was my father- in-law retiring (sort of) from 30 years of ministry at SRBC, 26 as our Senior Pastor. He’ll be on staff part-time; but he won’t be the head guy anymore.
Faithful. I’ve been pondering that word all week. That is my Father in Law. Faithful to preach God’s Word. Faithful to his wife and family. Faithfully serving others. 30 years of doing anything these days is almost unheard of, let alone serving in the same church, preaching week after week and doing it compassionately. It’s such a rare blessing.
What a week, right? Some of these milestones were big and some were small; yet they were all significant moments. They tell a story about who we are as a family and where we’ve been. Most importantly, it tells about where we are going. Some roads ahead are clear and some, not so much. As I look back at our week one thing is clear. God was faithful so I know he will be faithful on the journey ahead, in the next milestone.
God’s faithfulness and his hand are so evident in all the events of that week and I would be missing so much if I didn’t recognize it.
If it were up to me, I would have spaced out all the happenings of the week. You know, to make life a little less crazy. He’s writing the story, though, not me. And what a beautiful story it is.
Four days before his 8th birthday, I prayed and prayed, “Lord, let this round of swim lessons be the ones that finally click for him. Let this be the summer that he overcomes his fear of the water.”
Last week was a week of milestones for our family. Some big and some small; but definite milestones.
I’m still processing all the things (which is why you are getting this post today); but I learned a lesson that I’ve been in the process of learning since I became a mom.
The lesson is this. Kids are going to do things in their own time. There are some things that you just can’t push or rush. You have to give them time, trust God (And in this case, trust Levi. Don’t worry. Explanation to come.)
I’ve been taking this kid for swim lessons since he was 3. While he had great, patient, wonderful swim teachers (Thank you Grace and Paul! You are a BIB reason why he is swimming sans floaties right now. All those years of positive experiences in the water, finally paid off!), we’d end each week long session with him still afraid to let go of his teacher in the water. Still not swimming.
We’d swim throughout the summer. And maybe we could have exposed him to the water more often. I felt like we went to the pool often enough, though. Yet, at the end of each summer he was still wearing the floaties and still afraid to let go in the water.
So a few things contributed to him swimming: I think a huge part of it was just maturity and growing up. Every kid is different as when it will click for them whether it comes to reading, getting potty trained, or swimming.
Also, peer pressure. Nothing motivates you faster than seeing all your friends swimming in the deep end without floaties. Parents, don’t underestimate the power of positive peer pressure.
Lastly, I think God drops people into your life to speak to you in a slightly different way than others have before. You hear it, accept it, or just connect with a person in a certain way. You may have heard a message a million times; but a speaker delivers the same message in a different way or when you are in a different place in your life and IT JUST CLICKS.
We only had 3 days of swim lessons for an hour each day. My hopes were high but realistic.
Fortunately, we started these lessons off with him fully putting his head under the water right from the get go. But as Levi pointed out, Henry had a death grip (and he does). He was not letting go.
It’s kinda hard to learn to swim in the deep end if you don’t let go of the hand in the shallow end.
After the first day of lessons:
“Levi is not going to let you sink, Henry. He just isn’t. Even if you began to sink, he’s right there. He’ll pull you up. You just have to trust Levi.”
“It’s hard to trust, mom.”
“I know, babe. That’s the whole thing, though. That’s what trust is. It’s not easy. It is hard. You can do it.”
Second day of lessons:
Levi: “Henry, you just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it and then just do it.”
And he did.
He let go.
He swam. Across the shallow end of the pool.
He then wanted to learn to dive off the side of the pool. And he did.
He made the decision to trust and he just did it.
Or Levi has some sort of magical super power. Either way, the kid swam!
Later that day he was jumping off the diving board into the deep end, without floaties, and swimming like he’d been doing it for years. I was flabbergasted. I was grateful. I was doing a happy dance. I was so proud of him. I was relieved.
The third and final day of lessons was like watching a completely different kid. Where did this fearless guy come from? Two days later we were swimming at Morton’s Warm Springs with family. We had just picked up Lily from Jr. High camp and he surprised her by jumping into the pool without his floaties. Her face was priceless. His face was full of pride.
We asked him, “What made you decide to let go and just swim?”
Henry: “Mom told me to trust, Levi.”
Are you laughing? I am. It’s taken 5 years, and I don’t necessarily think he would have been swimming at 3 if Levi was his teacher. I think it was the right time, the right swim teacher, and it was God’s plan to use this experience to teach my little guy about trust. This is the first of many times, he’s going to need to trust God. Andy and I are going to be able to use this lesson with him for years to come. Hey, God is using Henry’s swim lessons to teach ME about trust.
I hope I remember all this when my kids aren’t doing something in the timeline that I feel is appropriate or convenient for me.
Hey Mamas, as you go into this week, whatever is happening too fast or too slow in your life just remember, trust God. Are your kids taking way too long to learn a lesson or don’t seem to be improving at all? Trust God’s timing. Trust is as equally simple as it is hard.
Are your kids needing to learn to swim? Give Levi a call.
At the moment I’m sitting in a bed and breakfast, in the town of Mendocino, 2 1/2 hours from my hometown. As I look out my room window, I see the white weathered steeple of a church across the street. And I know that just beyond that church, a bit out of my eyesight, is the sea.
I turned 45 yesterday. Andy surprised me (as in I had no idea where I was going until I got there) with a birthday getaway. We are closing in on our second day away. We will head home tomorrow. It’s been so lovely being away, just with him, having an adventure. Two thoughts keep coming back to me and I can’t help but smile.
Number one: I was kissed by a giraffe yesterday! I touched that oddly beautiful face and fed it sweet potato slices. It was pretty magical.
Number two: I am unequivically and without a doubt middle aged now. There’s no denying it, no spinning it, no fudging. I’m middle aged. How. Did. That. Happen?
Just the other day I was 25 and starting a new teaching job. I had just moved to a brand new city and I met this guy…………..
20 years later: 2 kids, 3 dogs, 5 houses and completely different careers
Our life is busy, crazy, messy and I absolutely love it.
Year 44 was hard for me. It was hard and yet so much good came from it. God asked me to do and accept some difficult things. It can be a bit heartbreaking when life and people change and there is nothing you can do about it. So as I look down the barrel of 45, guess what I see ? Yes, more change. But I’m not afraid. Because change has helped me grow. I say, “Bring it on.”
Well, maybe I’m not that gung-ho about change. I’ll be honest. I do know, though, that everything will be good and God will have me where he wants me and how he wants me. That is what 44 taught me.
Being stretched can be scary and super uncomfortable; but I’m thankful for it.. More than anything, it reminded me how I need to depend on God for my strength and peace, completely. I feel like 45 is going to be amazing. I don’t know. I just have a feeling.
The months leading up to my 44th birthday were not my best. On the outside I probably looked fine; but inside I was not myself at all. My heart was sad and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull myself out of a terrible funk. Looking back, I had some very unhealthy relationships. I needed to set boundaries, I needed to say, “No, I can’t do that for you.” I painfully needed to do some letting go.
But when I did, it made room for new things. New friendships. Reconnecting. I was willing to open up my mind to new things, even if they were out of my box and comfort zone. I learned (still learning) to not let my circumstances determine how I approach my life.
I spent a little bit of day one of year 45 writing down 45 things to be thankful for. I tried to be as specific as possible. Even if it was something that seemed silly or small, if it brought me joy or taught me a lesson, I wrote it down.
While I’ve done quite a bit of reflecting; I’m doing some dreaming too. I hope when I’m 80, I’m still trying new things, going on adventures with my family, taking leaps of faith and making room for new friends and possibilities. You know the saying, “God isn’t done with me yet.” ? I can’t think of a better way to look at life.
Every year God seems to give me a book that really speaks to me and changes the way I see Him. Changes the way I see myself. Changes the way God sees me.
He gave me this book, Humble Roots (by Hannah Anderson), earlier this year. I am so thankful.
As I read this book, I seriously felt like I was talking to a good friend, while sitting around my dining room table with coffee in hand.
I thought I was a humble person. I thought I knew what being humble meant. The perspective I received through reading this book really changed my thinking, in the best way.
It talks about what is at the root of our anxiety and unrest, why we endlessly seems to strive and are never at rest.
“Humble Roots reveals how cultivating humility- not scheduling or increased productivity-leads to true peace.” Hannah Anderson
I love this book so much! I want to share it with you. So I am giving a copy away to one lucky follower.
It’s so easy to enter for this giveaway. Ridiculously easy.
Just subscribe to The Accidental Domestic. Easy peasy. Type in your email address. I only send you an email notice when a new post is up on the blog.
You are entered. That’s it.
Already a subscriber? You are already entered. But would you like a better chance to win this book?
Click on the Instagram icon and check out my post about the giveaway on my Accidental Domestic Instagram page @theaccidentaldomestic . (I’ll be posting this Monday morning). I will give you more ways to earn more entries to win this book.
Giveaway ends on Tuesday night midnight Pacific Time. Winner announced Wednesday morning.
Good Luck.
*Update: Our Winner was announced on my Instagram page but you can still get this book here.
We took the kids on a walk the other night and we ended up in our old neighborhood, the one Andy and I lived in when we first got married.
Funny story. When we first got married, we rented the two bedroom condo Andy had lived in with some friends before we got engaged. A couple of years later, we bought the condo directly across the parking lot from our current condo. Moving day was easy and kind of comical as we watched all our friends carry boxes just a few yards away. It was the first home we owned. It was actually much nicer on the inside than our previous condo, with upgrades and air conditioning. (And we’ve never had AC since.) It was at this point we were able to get our first dog, Jackson.
As we strolled past our old stomping grounds almost 18 years later (We lived there a total of 4 years.), we reflected on how much life had changed. We were newlyweds in those condos. We were figuring out each other and our life as a married couple. We were kidless and had so many free Saturdays.
Let’s just take a moment of silence for the quiet Saturdays I’m never getting back………………..
18 years, 2 kids, and 3 dogs later, life is definitely busier and more complicated; but wow, is it sweet. We’ve filled these last (almost) 18 years with amazing memories. And they all started in our little condo.
On our way to Family Fun day in the city.
I couldn’t help but notice how small our condo seemed as we walked past it. And yes, it was quite small.
We don’t live in a big house now, by any means; but we’ve come a long way since our first abode. Sometimes, when we need to get perspective, it’s good to look at where we’ve been and compare that to where we are now.
Sometimes, I compare myself to people around me. Really, that’s quiet unfair to myself. I’m on my own path and my growth chart. My passions and goals aren’t going to be same as the person next to me. Our family has it’s own course of action and our own path. God’s plan for my husband, my kids and for me, is ours and ours alone.
Our son, Henry, was born 10 weeks early and weighed 3 pounds, 10 oz. He’s never been on a “normal” growth chart. I’m not sure where he’d fall on a regular growth chart now at almost 7; but for several years our wonderful pediatrician didn’t even mark his growth on one. Rather, she gave him his own chart and showed us that he was progressing and growing; without comparing him to other boys his age. When we did compare he didn’t even make in on the chart. He’s still the smaller (and often the smallest) one when I see him next to boys his age; but all I see is a healthy kid, a healthy, happy, energetic, whole kid. And that’s all that matters.
I can look back and see growth and I can look ahead and get excited for the future; but looking to either side of me and sinking in the trap of comparison is pointless, even harmful. The here and now is far from perfect and most definitely not easy; but there is so much good in my present and hope in the future. Casting my eyes to the side and comparing myself to people who have a different path, different relationships, different family dynamics, different financial statuses, different personalities, different strengths, different weaknesses, and different passions just keeps me from enjoying my right now. It also keeps me from reaching the future goals God has for me and for my family.
I don’t have this whole mindset perfected. No, not at all. But God’s been teaching me a lot about a right perspective.
When we look to the left and the right, let’s do it encourage and to lend that skate; but not to compare. Perspective is a funny thing because it depends on which angle you choose to take, the negative or positive. We are all better off than someone and there is always someone who is more successful than we are. But if we look at in this way: That compared to how we started in the world, helpless and with nothing; we are all doing better than we deserve!
I’m thanking God for what he’s given me today:salvation, joy and purpose. How about you.
So, 2018 is already a quarter of the way done. What????? How did that happen?
Normally, I would publish this sort of post in January; but the “new” blog was still under construction. So here I am, 3 months plus into the new year, really thinking about and processing through the word I chose 3 months ago.
The word I chose for 2018 is FOCUSED.
In a way, this coming back and reevaluating my word 3 months later has actually been the best thing. Have I kept my word in mind as I plan out my days and weeks? Did I pick the right word?
My answer is: Yes! I’m so glad I picked this word and I think it’s the best word for me right now.
I’m a big fan of lists and setting goals and making plans. I don’t always follow through with said lists and plans. I don’t always accomplish said goals. But I try.
At the end of 2017 I went over all the things I had wanted to accomplish over that previous year, personal goals, house project goals, etc. And though my year was very busy and I felt like I had done a lot of things, I had not marked many things off my list. It was rather disheartening. Why? Why had I felt like I had been doing, doing, but not accomplishing anything?
I think it’s because I’m like Buddy the Elf, “Ooh shiny bins!”
I like shiny bins. I get distracted by things that at the moment seem good to do and often times “seem” important. It’s not that I don’t work hard. Being idle is not a problem for me (or most moms for that matter). Doing what is most important and not getting caught up in the urgent is where I struggle. Can anyone else relate?
So I’m FOCUSING this year. I’m not focusing so I can get more done. It’s the not amount of things I do that is the goal. I’m FOCUSING on fewer things and trying to DO THOSE THINGS WELL. And those fewer things are things that I’ve thought about and have prayed over and feel are most important right now.
So, what am I focusing on?
In keeping with my word and my goal, I’m keeping it simple.
I’m focusing on 3 main things this year: My Home, My Homeschool and My Heart.
I’ll go into these 3 categories in depth in future blog posts; but for this post I’ll keep it brief.
HOME:: A stay at home mom is part of my job title; but the day to day realities of being at home and taking care of my home can be a struggle for me. Cooking. Keeping up with laundry (Bleh!) Cleaning toilets. I know some people enjoy those things. In all honesty, I don’t. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I love keeping my house tidy, decorating and gardening. I love being home. But, I knew that I was letting areas and responsibilities slide because I just don’t enjoy them and I wasn’t physically home enough to actually do them. So, I’m focusing on what it means to really take care of my home. Note that I didn’t say have a “sparkling clean, looks like no one lives here, iron my sheets” kind of home. Ummm……no. Not eating out as much and making sure Andy always has clean underwear is where this mama is starting.
HOMESCHOOL:: I love homeschooling. I’m so glad God called me to do it because that was definitely not the road I was heading down. I really enjoy having my kids home with me, choosing what they will learn and how it is best for them to learn. I absolutely love the flexibility of our schedule. Homeschooling takes a lot dedication and discipline, though. It takes me, the mom and teacher, being focused. It takes priority over a lot of other things in our family life because it is my kid’s education. And while I know my kids are learning, progressing and are happy, I feel that in the past year our homeschool wasn’t taking as high a priority as it should have been. Some of the reasons for this were out of my control; but some were just me getting distracted by the urgent. So, I’ve reprioritized.
HEART:: Honestly, I was trying to keep with the “H” theme here. This just means taking time to do things that make my heart happy and fill my bucket. As moms, we get so caught up in everyone else’s needs and sometimes forget what reenergizes us, what inspires us, what gets our creative juices flowing. For me it’s writing and working on this blog. That is my creative outlet and I wasn’t giving it any time at all. It made me sad. So I decided to make time for it. This means saying no to other things sometimes; but it’s worth it to me.
Can I add a bonus H here? My HEALTH. I think moms can be the number one culprits of ignoring health problems and not taking care of themselves because we don’t have time. The truth is we don’t have a lot of time. The truth is we need to make the time. I have things I need to take care of to feel better and this is my year to do it.
Now, I know there are times when we all need to reevaluate and even change our goals.They don’t have to be set in stone. Life has a way of throwing your plans out the window sometimes. I realize I need to be flexible.
While I’m focusing this year on my family and home, my homeschool and my personal goals of blogging and getting healthy, I know how much I tend to doubt myself that I can actually make these positive changes in my life. I’m excited and motivated (at the moment); but can I actually accomplish them? Am I brave enough to make big changes? Can I not get distracted by the shiny and urgent in order to do the most important?
With God’s help, ABSOLUTELY!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Psalm 46:5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. – This is my personal favorite and verse for this year.
I’ve also claimed this quote as my personal mantra for the year. If I go into a situation thinking I cannot succeed, I won’t. Positive thinking goes a long way.
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