Tag: family life

Embracing the New Rhythm of Life

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I’m big on making lists.

I gave up on super detailed lists (with time slots assigned to tasks), though, a long time ago.

I’m still a paper planner girl; and I must write things down and see them on paper, rather than my phone.

I would never start my daily to do’s on time or finish them in said allotted time.

Life rarely happens on time. Not my time anyway.

Instead, I began to find a rhythm to my day and stuck with that.

I find that the rhythm of my days change with seasons. That means actual seasons but also seasons of life.

This last year of life, these last 12 months have looked like……..

Lily going to (real) school for the time ever.

My mom’s death.

Winter.

Boomer’s death.

Spring.

End of school year madness.

Summer.

Many trips and family time and getting back to nature.

Rest.

Rest and nature.

Now fall.

My winter rhythm was different, of course, than spring’s. Spring was much busier. Activities that had taken a hiatus started back up again. The days got longer. Warmer. In homeschool land, we shook off the coziness and slowness of winter and geared up to finish out the year, hopefully strong.

My winter was different this past year from any other year. My rhythm wasn’t much of a rhythm. It was more of a “Let’s just get through the days.”

Let’s just get through the holidays.

Let’s just get through my mom’s birthday.

Let’s just get through the memorial service.

After we bury her, things will get back to normal.

Lily going to school each day and tennis, homework, basket ball practice for H, Awana, youth group, our homeschool co-op day……those activities all helped me put one foot in front of the other during this last winter and spring. It wasn’t that my rhythm was off. I had no rhythm of any kind. I just woke up, did all the things, and was so glad to crawl back into bed each day.

Death and grief have it’s own rhythm.

I’m so thankful that rhythms change, though. Spring came after a winter of what seemed like a never ending successions of storms ( You know the kind of weather where you scream, ” I can’t handle another rainy day!) Then we had the unexpected joy of snow. Snow? Of all things, snow. It was magical. Eventually, the days got longer and the sun began to shine.

My heart began to feel lighter and the tears, while they came, didn’t seem to come quite as often.

I had a realization. My thought was, “Grief has taken up a seat at the table and I can’t ask it to leave. I can walk with it, though. I guess I don’t really have a choice.” Grief had fallen into step in my new spring rhythm.

Spring came with it’s own rhythm and it’s own brand of busy.

Summer came and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait for all the activities to stop and for school to pause. I was counting down the days to when Lily came home and I didn’t have to ask, “So, what’s for homework?” I was ready to relish in the days of shorts, no shoes and trips to the pool. I was ready to not feel so sad all the time.

Summer was delightful. It had it’s own rhythm with a kind of low key, unstructured chaos. I love summer.

And here I come, full circle in my year. Fall.

I love summer but fall is my favorite.

The rhythm has changed again. Slowly this time. Soccer started back up. Then school. Then youth group. Then our Co-op and now Awana. The Hubs has a completely different schedule this next stretch. Thankfully all these changes didn’t happen at once. I’m learning to find my new cadence in this new season.

We recently came up on a year without my mom. Grief looks a little different now. It doesn’t hurt any less, I don’t miss her any less. I think there is an acceptance of “this is just the way things are now” that can only come with time. I’ve just made room for it. Grief is just an expression of the love we have for someone we can’t express it to anymore. It’s beautiful actually.

I’m ready for fall. I’m ready for cooler nights, baking homemade apple pie, making stews and soups. I’m ready for all things pumpkins. Give me all the pumpkins! I’m ready for watching Nightmare Before Christmas with my family while wearing my Jack Skellington socks. We are neck deep in soccer and co-op with Henry. Lily is loving school and is on the hunt for a homecoming dress. I’m ready for this new rhythm and embracing the busyness of fall while looking for those moments to be still and read and write. And drink tea, of course.

It’s Me, Hi.

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It’s me, Jen. Hi.

Can I tell you a little story? It’s about this girl who had glasses. Her 6th grade teacher gave everyone a marbled black and white composition book and throughout the year we wrote various types of things in it…. journal pages of field trips, ficticious stories, etc. Early on she learned to “write what you know” and so she wrote a lovely story in her white and black composition book about a wonderful, whimsical land called “Glasses Land”. It was made out of glass and all the characters were pairs of glasses.

Here I am, half way through my 49th year of life and I’m still “writing what I know”.

Since it’s been, as my 15 year old would say, “a hot minute” since I’ve posted on my blog, I thought I would do a little reintroduction.

Hi, I’m Jen.

While I still love all the things in that original introduction, (You can read the original About Me here) I’m a little older now and a little grayer. I’ve lost a parent. I only have one of those rascally pups. Instead of littles at my feet, I have a beautiful sophmore in high school and an energetic pre-teen. Hence, the gray.

I’ve learned to slow down a bit more and I’ve learned more than ever that I really don’t know what I’m doing. Truly. I do my best and ask God for a lot of grace.

I just celebrated 23 years with the Hubs, who is now a Sergeant. I’m not a newbie cop’s wife anymore. I’ve been in the trenches for more than a decade with my police officer. Being a police officer’s wife has taught me a lot about patience, flexibility and expectations.

I’m still a book nerd. I still love coffee more than I should but can only drink two cups…..cuz heartburn.

I’ve taken up embroidery and really love it. That was a pandemic hobby that stuck with me.

I’m still homeschooling and loving it. Though now I just homeschool one.

There have been a few constants throughout my life; and writing has been one of them. That little girl that wrote in her black and white composition book, now writes in a big girl journal. I’m still writing. Still sharing. Still telling stories. I was thinking about all my past writing endeavors, especially my blogs, and how they’ve brought me here to this space.

My first ever blog was titled Seniorita Sassy Pants (blog spot) – I guess the name was a nod to my hispanic heritage and me ackowledging the fact that I’m quite sassy? I’m not really sure. That blog was a lifetime ago but the name has a ring to it and I still stand by it! This blog started before The Hubs and I even had kids.

Then there was Sock Monkey Tales- Ahh…. good memories here. I was in the throes of early motherhood. I really cherish these posts. I’m so glad I wrote through those years. I’m especially glad I documented H’s birth and our NICU story.

Now we come to The Accidental Domestic. – That’s me now. It’s my family now. I planned for this blog to grow with us as a family and with me as a writer. Ever changing. While our family is youngish, we do not have little kids anymore. As we grow and change (and get a little older), I’ll keep writing what I know.

Thanks for joining me.

Jen (the little girl who wore glasses) Can you find me? There are only a few girls with glasses.

The Inbetween Time

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photo credit @andosfauxtos

These days are definitely in that hazy summer/back to school time.

We started school last week. It was a very soft start. Today as I type, it’s a holiday and so we are already taking a day off of school. I don’t usually take Labor day off; but this year I thought, “Why not?” And so we are.

Some fall activities have started up. Some haven’t. School has started. Co-op hasn’t. Some days are overcast and cool. Some days, like today, are blazing hot. Fall decorations are out at all the stores; but the pool is still open.

It will be a couple of weeks until everything that we have on our plates (I think) for fall is up an running.

Part of me is missing the freedom of summer. The other part is craving the structure of a schedule.

Part of me is relishing in the fact that in a few minutes I’m throwing on shorts, a t-shirt, flip flops and I’m ready for the day. The other part can’t wait for boots, sweaters and a visit to the pumpkin patch. Ok, who am I kidding? Try three or four visits to a pumpkin patch.

My kids would gladly go back to our summer unschedule in a heartbeat.

With one foot in each season, I’m torn between the two myself. Here’s what I’m thankful for, though:

I’m thankful that everything didn’t start up at once. We take breaks from sports, and most things during the summer. So, I’m thankful that everything doesn’t get dumped on us at once.

I’m thankful for the ramping up time, even though the hazy inbetweeness leaves me not quite knowing what to do with myself.

Here’s to “Not Quite Summer Anymore But Not Quite Fall”!

3 Things

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There are a few things that mark the calendar telling us we have transitioned from one season to the next. Around here, as we transitioned from winter to spring, I noticed the days staying lighter longer. The days were gradually warmer; but the nights were chilly. Baseball started with practices, batting cages, and Saturdays cheering H on at the Little League Park.

Life definitely went from a cozy state of hibernation to a busyness that honestly took me by surprise. For over a year life had been put on hold and it seemed liked “all of a sudden” life opened back up. We hit the ground running.

Spring does tend to do that each year; but the slowness that was 2020 just magnified our fast- paced spring this year.

I’m missing my quiet days a bit but I’m happy that life in many ways seem to be returning to normal, whatever that is now.

Spring flew by and now I’m knee deep in summer. I still have over a month of summer vibes left (though, part of that will be getting ready for school) and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I’ve gotten into a practice over this past year of reflecting over one season as I head into the next. Thank you Emily P. Freeman for your Next Right Thing Journal and podcast. Thank you Covid for the months of “nothing on my calendar” and quiet to begin the practice of reflecting. As we left winter and plunged into spring, and are now enjoying summer, I want to share 3 things: 3 things I’ve learned, 3 things I’m leaving behind and 3 things I’m taking with me into this next season of summer.

So I guess that’s 9 things.

3 Things I’ve Learned:

1.) There are natural rythmns to each seasons. I’m learning not to fight them but rather go with with them and embrace them.

Winter was slower and we stayed closer to home. Spring sprung big time with its warm weather, outside activities and more. It was a little overwhelming for me; but I tried to embrace and enjoy it for what it was. It wasn’t a time to “get all the things done”. Some of those things could wait until summer with its slower pace.

2.) Being small isn’t bad.

I think Covid stripped a lot of stuff away. Some of it was good and deeply missed. Some of the things, activites and even people were not missed. And as we’ve come to “normal” life I’ve been able to decide what I want to come back to. My world and circle of people have gotten smaller. Some responsibilities and many things I thought I couldn’t cut out of my life are gone. My world has gotten smaller and I feel smaller; but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

3.) My love of murder mystery books

I’ve stumbled onto Louise Penny and her world of Three Pines with Chief Inspector Armand Gamache and I’m forever a fan. While these are murder mystery books, they are much more about complex characters and relationships. Also, I love trying to figure out who the murderer is before the book is done.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind:

My mask, hopefully, forever

But really just the feeling of fear that seemed to surround 2020.

Summer Mom Guilt

My kid’s summer reading challenge has been left somewhere between the pool and summer camp and nary a flashcard has been seen. My summer bucket list consists of one (Just One) house project which I’ve already completed. ( I painted my master bedroom!) I’ve listened to two audio books, read two mystery books, plus snippets of other books. I have not kept up on my housework. I’ve slept in. My goal this summer was not to feel guilt about some crazy summer expectations that only I had for myself.

Good sleep as an option

I hate to break it to all you 20 and 30 somethings. There is no guarantee of good sleep on a regular basis. Sorry, that’s just the facts, man. I was getting the exact opposite of good sleep, though, and I wasn’t getting nearly enough. The thing is a lot of my poor sleep was from my poor choices. I needed to adult up and make better sleep a priority.

3 Things I’m Taking With Me:

My love of murder mystery books

I’m pretty much hooked on Louise Penny books but I’m open to try other authors. Any suggestions?

Wearing Dresses

One day I walked out of Target with three dresses and a jumper. A jumper! If you know me, you’ve probably never seen me in a jumper. I can’t go back. Long, flowing dresses are the thing. Now, every single thing I bought that day was blue or had blue in it. So, I need to work on my color palette. Bring on those dresses, though!

The idea that my health and taking time to be healthy is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Oh boy, this is a whole blog post on it’s own. Let’s just say that taking care of me (like most moms) was not at the top of any list. You pay a price when you do that, though. It’s not the price I want to pay. Like, the poor sleep choices, I’m adulting up and making better choices about my health. Yes, it takes some time. It’s not a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Enjoying these sweet last days of summer.

What I’m Taking Into 2021 and What I’m Leaving Behind

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I almost didn’t write today, on this last day of 2020. It seemed too overwhelming to process and to sum up the hardest year of our lives. Honestly, I’ve been trying to process and put into words over the last few weeks how I feel about 2020. Trying to put into words what I’ve learned and what this year has taught me is difficult.

This last week of December has actually been a really hard week. A lot of sad and hard things have happened. It seems like 2020 just won’t quit.

So, I’m not going to do that.

I did feel like it was important to document this day here and so I’m just going to share a bit of what’s on my heart.

Here’s What I’m Leaving Behind in 2020 and what I’m taking with me into 2021 (well, some of it anyway).

I’m leaving behind the need to Hustle.

In a year where everything literally stopped on a dime, I was shown clearly that I needed to get off the Hustle train. I read the The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and it was the best book I read this year. I read it twice. Life changing.

I’m leaving behind the Fear.

I’m so, so tired of being afraid. This year was chaos and uncertainty and fear. Yes, when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did. But guess what? God provided always. God was faithful always. God was my comfort always. He doesn’t want to me to fear.

I’m leaving behind Not Wearing Make Up.

Ok, I’m not going to wear it every day. I don’t think I need to. But, it just kind of makes me feel good about myself so I’m going to bring it back after many months of not wearing it (at least on Sundays).

Here’s What I’m Taking With Me Into 2021.

I’m taking with me my love of embroidery.

It started as a Shelter – In- Place hobby back it March. I’m hooked. I love it. I find it so relaxing.

I’m taking my love of Instagram into 2021.

I used to feel silly about being on Instagram and doing the IG stories. I did it anyways; but always second guessed myself. Then I realized it really brought me joy and it keeps me connected with people. And well, that’s reason enough. Next, I’m going to start doing Reels.

I’m taking my love of Nature into 2021.

I learned something huge about myself this year, HUGE. Being in nature is the one thing that really destresses me, gives me clarity and makes me feel really close to God. I was truly the happiest this summer when we went to Yosemite and on our National Parks Roadtrip.

And finally Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda is my Spirit Creature (He’s not an animal, so……) Andy bought me Baby Yoda (not the kids, me) during a time when I was feeling very sad and low. He just knew. That’s why he’s the best.

I don’t know what the hec is coming in 2021. I’m not even going to try to project or imagine. What I do know is I have my family and I have Jesus. Jesus is the only constant I truly need. That is the number one thing I’m taking into 2021.

His goodness.

His love.

His sovereignty.

Good bye 2020. Don’t the door hit ya on the way out!

Note: I’m posting this at 5 pm on Dec 31 but WordPress is dating my post as Jan 1st. Not sure why.

Just 94 Days to Go!

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Note: This post was written on June 4, 2011

** This was 25 days before I actually had Henry. I had no idea the crazy ride we were about to embark on. I’ve copied and pasted exactly was I wrote (on my previous blog) and haven’t changed a thing. You can see my old blog here if you like Sock Monkey Tales.

June 4, 2011

Just 94 days to go! That’s when Bauer Boy should make his grand entrance. (That’s what I have to call him since Andy and I are no where close to agreeing on a name.) I can’t believe I’m down to mere weeks. 13 1/2 to be exact.

This also means 94 days to be on the couch. I’m still in a bit of shock to be quite honest. One day I’m in my classroom packing things up and sorting papers, thinking of all my summer plans that I’m about to embark on. Next day, I find myself at Kaiser lying in a hospital bed only being able to get up to use the bathroom.

Because of the placenta previa I have and the fact that I started bleeding (And I just have to say, it didn’t seem like that much to me. But according to the doctor it was enough) I am now on bed rest for the next 94 days.

94 days seems like forever.

I will be very honest, I really haven’t been able to see the silver lining in this. I’ve been….blue.

Pity Party for one, calling Pity Party for one!

First of all, I am SO THANKFUL that Bauer Boy is fine. He’s moving and kicking and looks great. When I get to feeling sorry for myself or mad that I can’t do the things I was looking forward to doing, I remind myself (as the doctor did) that I don’t want to have a baby at 26 weeks. He’s still safe inside, cooking away, as he should be.

It was all the things I was looking forward to doing, especially with Lily. Our family vacation and trip to see my sister in Colorado… cancelled. Going to the library and working in the garden with Lily…. cancelled. I could go on, but I won’t. I have to look at the bright side or this will be one sad summer.

Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. Psalm 116:7 This verse has been comforting to me. The Lord has been good. I have lots and family and friends around to help. Andy, who up until now has worked graveyard shifts, is on the day shift for the next month. How awesome is that?? I won’t be alone at nights. No dishes to do or cleaning the bathroom. All I have to do is fold the laundry, not put it away (which was the part I hated doing).

It’s just 94 days, right? A drop in the bucket in the big scheme of things.

Things don’t “just happen”. And I know that. God has a reason and something to teach me and the people around me.

Ten Quarantine Lifesavers

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Call it what you will, Shelter in Place, Quarantine, Lockdown. We are stuck at home. Well, if you live in California, you are still supposed to be sheltering at home.

It’s been seven weeks. Seven weeks! Yup, that’s 49 days. Good for you doing the math.

Here are 10 things that are getting me through this abnormal, faith testing, bizarro time in our history.

1.) Memes. I’ve always been a big fan of the meme. Now, more than ever, the clever humor of memes bring daily laughter into my life. We need to laugh, people; or we will go insane. Memes that give a snarky jab of truth are even better.

Here’s some of my faves. This is just the tip of the meme iceberg, though. If you follow me on Instagram @theaccidentaldomestic and watch my instastories, you’ll see all my favorites.

2. SGN (Some Good News) is a weekly You Tube “news show” hosted by John Krasinski. So, I’m going to watch Jim Halpert in anything he’s in. If you don’t know who he is, we obviously aren’t friends. (The Hubs and I have watched The Office so many times we’ve lost count.) Anyway, the reason I love this show is that John highlights real people doing real things to spread good news and kindness around the world during this time. He has celebrity friends come on each week to help him celebrate and honor the people on the front lines and the next door neighbor who’s being kind and making a differnece.

I cry every single week.

Here is the episode of SGN where John arranges for nurses in Boston to have a private trip to Fenway Park. He enlists the Red Sox and a special video visit from Big Papi who gives everyone at the hospital free baseball tickets FOR LIFE. Grab your tissues.

3.) The Holderness Family is hilarious and hit it out of the park every time. Before the pandemic hit, I was enjoying their videos. Can I just say, since this craziness all started, the videos have gotten better and funnier. They get us. They just do.

I can’t pick a favorite video; but here’s a good one. Enjoy.

4.) Homemade Dole Whip. Disney has been releasing recipes of some of their favorite park treats. If you are a Disney fan, you understand why this is a big deal. If not, you’ll still enjoy this easy; but delicious recipe:

I big scoop of vanilla icecream, 2 cups of frozen pineapple chunks, 4 oz. of pineapple juice, and blend.

My friend, Christine, and I eating actual Dole Whip. Our fave!

You’re welcome.

5.) Zoom Calls. Who would have ever thought that 2 months ago social distancing and Zoom Meetings would become a normal part of our vernacular? Here are some really neat ways that Zoom Calls have helped us stay connected with family and friends. For this, I’m truly thankful.

Birthday family zooms and Mimi reading to H at night.

Zoom Family Trivia Night has been a great way to connect. All across the country, each week, we gathered and answered trivia questions. Our cousin, John, organized it all and it was so fun. We laughed and we got to visit with one another. Andy and I won the tournament; but I’m not here to brag.

6.) Curbside Pick – Up. We are still trying to patron our local eateries so they don’t go out of business during this time. Also, I’m sick and tired of cooking. So, it’s a Win-Win. My all-time favorite shop The Sunny Side Cottage is posting things on-line. I can call, order and pick up my merch.

7.) Drives. We can’t get out and do anything; (Though, I’m praying this changes very soon.) but taking drives through our beautiful Sonoma County countryside reminds me that there is life beyond my four walls. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now; but we will get back to it!

8.) Doing Lives with Lily. Lily and I have been doing really fun DIY Lives this past month. We’ve been posting them to my Accidental Domestic Facebook page each week. It’s given us something else to focus on and look forward to. Hopefully it’s been a bright spot for others. We have had fun doing it together.

Here’s our latest LIVE.

9.) Gardening. My garden always brings me a lot of joy. This year, it needed some extra TLC because I had neglected it during the winter. I’ve been spending a lot of time out side working, cleaning up, planting and tending. Being outside with my hands in the dirt has been the best thing for me.

10.) Time Outs. For Me. Going to my room, once a day, and shutting the door. This is a sanity saver.

There you have it? What have been your Quarantine Lifesavers???

Faith, Fear and Filtering the Noise

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As I sat and read a book last night at 5:30 pm (which never happened in my Pre-Corona life), The Hubs came home from work and we chatted about our days.

Though nothing really different is happening during my day to day, I feel like I’m finally set into a routine. It’s my Shelter-in-Place routine and it’s helping. I think. Even though the routine is pretty much the same EVERY DAY, I don’t spend my days trying to figure out what I should be doing.

In my Pre-Corona life, we’d probably be rushing off to baseball practice and I’d be trying to figure out dinner. Now, we aren’t rushing anywhere and so dinner can wait while I finish chapter 2.

I literally spent the first two weeks of this Lock Down in FEAR. Real fear. I honestly didn’t think I would die if I contracted it. I did fear for others that I loved. It was utter confusion and every day something else got locked down or cancelled. Every day the walls around our life shrank in around us. I spent my days on Facebook and my nights wide awake.

Oh Facebook. I’m coming back around to you.

Though it didn’t completely go away, the fear started to subside. Then came the venturing out into the world to shop. Some people wore gloves and masks. Everyone started to disinfect their groceries. And I kept wondering when I was going to wake up? Zoom Calls replaced baseball practice. No one can find toilet paper. And what day is it again?

Where do you go when you are so disconnected? You go to places where you can connect like Facebook, Instagram and Zoom Calls.

Oh Facebook. Everyone thinks they are the expert.

Then came the sad and sobering realization that things are not going back to normal any time soon or ever? That thought gave me the greatest fear.

Now before I go on, I have to say that these past 5 weeks of Quarantine have made me realize there are things I do not miss and do not plan on going back to. I don’t want things to go back to exactly how they were but I miss the library big time. I want to hug my dad. I want to go to the beach. I want to go back to church.

We’ve realized, if we haven’t already, that main stream media is extremely biased and honestly not trustworthy news. Where do you get the facts and not the hype?

The arguments swirled around me every time I hopped on the internet, especially Facebook. You see posts from people urging everyone to just stay home; the virus is everywhere. Meanwhile there are loud voices demanding we open up, we get back to business, the government is trying to control us.

Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear.

The truth for me was that I was going to the wrong place to get my answers and my assurances. I want to know how this all ends. I was going to people instead of God.

This post isn’t about what I think about our government and who I agree or disagree with. Honestly, I’m somewhere in the middle. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is where I place my fear and worry and whether I let it control me or not.

Do I stick my head in the sand and just ignore what is going on? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I believe we should do our research to the best of our ability and know what’s going on in our world, our government, and our community. How do you ignore what’s going on right now? It’s impossible and foolish to do so.

I had to filter. I had to filter what I listened to and how often I listened to it. There was too much noise. Too many voices trying to be heard.

I needed to practice Faith Over Fear. Me looking to information and concrete answers (which there are none at this point) was me needing to be in control. I needed to ask, how would Jesus have me respond? And I just couldn’t focus my mind and heart with all the noise, with everyone’s opinions, and with all the Facebook posts that people post. Guess what? People, for the most part, are going to post things that support what they already believe. So when you aren’t sure what to think, this is dangerous ground.

This is what I’ve done this past week. If it helps just one person or you can take one thing away from this blog post, I’m happy.

1.) I’m limiting my time on Facebook and I’m about to take a complete break.

Lily and I are doing these Facebook Lives every Thursday. We are doing DIYs and it’s been really fun. Other than that, I’m trying to stay off Facebook. If I post, I post something encouraging. Facebook was giving me anxiety as I would get lost down the rabbit hole of reading posts. I took Facebook off my phone as well. Once, we are done doing our LIVES in April a good clean break might be in order.

2.) If you constantly post politically posts, I snooze you.

Sorry, friends. That’s the way it has to be.

3.) I’m trying to focus on just a few places where I feel I can get reliable news.

This is very hard to find; but resources are out there. I need to know what’s going on and I’m totally okay with differing opinions. I just want the facts and not the drama. Don’t try to get me riled up. I’m already riled up!!!

I have a friend who I follow on Instagram. I know her heart and she’s a wealth of knowledge. She has a holistic approach to health and I appreciate the knowledge she shares. I don’t feel scared when I read her posts. I feel empowered.

4.) I’m just digging in the Bible and reading things that bolster my faith.

God has reminded me that I need to think back on all the ways God has been faithful in my life. He never changes. So I don’t need to worry or question His faithfulness now. Whatever he does is for our good and His greatest glory.

I’m reading Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick, the New Testament, and watching the The Chosen series. All three of these things have been encouraging me to seek God and have been reminding me of the great love He has for me.

5.) I’ve been gardening and it’s saving me.

Except for the happy sounds of my kiddos, my garden is quiet and peaceful. Being outside with my puppy Mac next to me and my hands in the dirt has been therapeutic!!! Gardening is a lot of tending and waiting. It requires patience and diligence before you get to any blooms and harvest. This has not been lost on me during this time of waiting.

6.) Stay connected.

I’m honestly so over Zoom calls. We need them, though. Our kids need to see their friends. I need to stay connected to my family and friends. Seeing H Lego Zoom with his friends is adorable. Lily is missing her friends greatly. Zoom is helping.

Our weekly on-line church with Pastor Josh, our weekly Fellowship Group Zoom and Youthgroup Zooms are the most important parts of our week. We need to stay connected!

7.) Memes

Okay this is silly; but Memes are my favorite right now. They are meaningful, deep, and ridiculous all at the same time and I absolutely love them.

8.) Serve Others

There has never been a better time to serve others than now. We can do it from 6 feet apart, too.

Do you need to filter out the noise? Maybe it’s not Facebook. Maybe it’s another area. Our minds weren’t meant to be overloaded with information. Our hearts weren’t meant to be in a constant state of fear and worry. Since I’ve limited my time on Social Media, especially Facebook, I’ve been much, much happier.

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace

those whose minds are steadfast,

because they trust you.

He promises to give us wisdom if we ask. Do we believe it? Yes, we need to decide what we believe and where we stand. Are we okay with not having all the answers, right now? Are we content in the waiting?

Psalm 16:8

I will keep my

eyes always on

the Lord.

3 Things….

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3 things2

3 Things I learned this winter.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind This Spring

3 Weeks Of Shelter In Place

Originally, my plan was to post “What I Learned This Winter” at the beginning of March. Then Corona hit. I got mmmm….just a little distracted. I finally sat down and hammered out some thoughts about all that was going on and posted that here. So, while I’m already working on “What I Learned This Spring”, ( This spring has been epic and life changing and we are only 3 weeks in.) I still wanted to post this.

It’s all still true. Though now posting about what I learned during the winter kind of seems trivial and light – hearted amid all that’s going on. A little levity may be what we all need right now. That and a reminder that hopefully life will go somewhat back to normal in the future.

So here’s 3 Things I Learned This Winter, 3 Things I Want To Leave Behind, and a 3 Weeks Shelter In Place Update (for posterity).

3 Things I Learned This Winter:

My goal was to post 5-7 things I learned; but my brain is muddled with the latest Corona count, how to disinfect my groceries, and homeschooling my kids during isolation. So, this is what you get.

  1. Sometimes You Just Need To Start.

I’m a planner, list maker and backwards planner. I’ve got my monthly goals, my weekly goals, and my daily goals all written out in my favorite colored pens. I’m learning that all the planning the world doesn’t do me any good if I don’t just start already! Just start. Even if I don’t have a plan. This has been hard for me. I’m a work in progress.

Note: I’m laughing at my goal making right now because what my planner usually looks like and what it looks like now is quite different. Now, I just plan Zoom calls.

2. I’ve Missed Reading A Really Good Page Turner.

I’ve missed reading in general. I’ve been doing more of it and it’s made me really, really happy. Recently I read Woman in the Window. It was a suspenseful page turner. I wasn’t reading to understand something better or gain knowledge. I was just reading for fun.

Note: I’ve definitely had more time to read these last few weeks.

3. Getting Older Sucks; But I’m Not Alone.

I stepped out of the car and somehow twisted my ankle. I started to chase my 8 year old at the park and realized my legs weren’t working right somehow. I twisted my knee getting up from sitting on the ground. I’m getting older; but come on! It seems like the 40’s is also code for “body parts wearing down”. I know I’m not alone here. I think I need to start exercising more than once a week.

Note: Since our Shelter In Place 22 days ago I’ve done a lot more walking. Thanks, Corona Virus, for upping my exercise game. Also, I chased Henry down the road today and did not pull a thing or get winded. Improvement!

3 Things I Want To Leave Behind

  1. Worry

Can I say leave behind Covid-19?

I’d really like to kick that one in the mouth, to the curb, and off the side of a cliff. Ok, I don’t have the power to do that. I am, however, working on leaving WORRY behind. I’ve had enough sleepless nights and anxious thoughts in the past 24 + days to confirm, yet again, that me worrying doesn’t change a single thing. This is not easy to do. AT ALL!!! God has been working on my unbelieving heart. “Are you going to say that you trust me? Or are you actually going to do it? Are you going to lay it at my feet, each day? Each hour? Do you really believe I’m as big and powerful as you say I am?”

2. Hating My Age

Ever since 40 I’ve spent each birthday like I was facing impending doom. About a month prior to the day, I’ve wondered in disbelief on how I got here so quickly? How did my face get like this? Why is my arm skin hanging like that? I have to dye my roots already. Ugghhh….. 40’s.

I’m kinda sick of the negative self talk. Honestly, this virus has showed us all, about as clear as can be, that we do not know when our last day is our last day. I’m done dreading the age. I’m celebrating it. I’m 46! I just spent my birthday in quarantine and it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

3. Eating Out So Much

Ha! Yes, this is me being funny. We’ve been ordering from a local restaurant once a week; but other than that it’s me, cooking, all the time…….

3 Weeks Into Quarantine Looks Like:

Making Bath Bombs With Lily

Taking Walks. This is from our last hike we took in a park in Napa. Shortly after this, all the parks were closed. Rain or shine, we get our walks in.

Still Schooling

Zoom Calling

Falling In Love With Embroidery

Shopping 6 Feet Apart

Foraging for Flour

My 46th Birthday

Being Together….a lot.

Hang in there, gang!

Corona Virus, Cross Stitching and Cans of Corn

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I woke up Monday morning and laid still in the quiet for a solid minute. I just laid there and wished that last week was a dream.

I think we all have a little of that Ground Hog’s Day feeling as we’ve woken up each morning this week.

I thought going into last week, that after the dust settled and I stocked up on food, I would hunker down and life would go on pretty much as normal. I home school. I’m used to being home during the day with my kids, teaching them. Though, we are pretty busy with outside activities, it’s not abnormal for me to be home for a couple of days without seeing friends.

Last week was rough, though. It felt like a million years long! As we are heading into week two of our three week Shelter In Place, there is one thing I know. Life is not going back to normal in 2 weeks. We don’t know what the coming weeks will bring. And that not knowing is what has me feeling anxious.

A week and a half ago:

My kids were not talking to their grandparents through window panes, not touching.

Lily and Henry were not Zoom calling their friends. (Though I think Zoom is the greatest invention.)

I had left my neighborhood and shopped at Target.

I wasn’t taking a walk everyday, smiling and saying hello to neighbors I don’t know.

I wasn’t waking up each morning and wondering what bad news I would hear today.

I wasn’t cross stitching each night and taking up embroidery next. I was always too busy with other things. Now I have just a little bit of extra time to do all the “other things”.

I was falling asleep quickly and peacefully. Now, I can’t fall asleep at night. I have this feeling of unsettle in my chest.

My calendar was bursting. Now it’s completely empty. (Except for scheduled Zoom calls.)

I wasn’t keeping track of how many days it takes us to use up a roll of toilet paper and then multiplying that by how many rolls we have left.

I was running to the store for every little thing. I also had no problem finding a can of corn!

I had never heard of social distancing.

Also… A week and half ago:

I wasn’t praying much for others, let alone the cashier at Safeway or Oliver’s.

I read about God’s peace and of course, desired it. Now it is a burning need. I can’t feel peace without Him.

I said I trusted God. Now I have to practice it. I have to really give my anxious heart to God and trust that He is sovereign and good and faithful.

I thought random thunder (that isn’t common to us here) and a flash hail storm was weird and cool. Now I’m like, “Yes, Lord? You were saying??? I’m listening.”

I’m listening.

We call “it” the The Coroni around here. That’s what H named it. I guess it lightens the mood and makes something unknown and scary seem small and a little silly.

“Take that, stupid Coroni!” he said when our trip to The Grand Canyon got cancelled.

We all have our way of coping and none of us have been through a pandemic before so I think H’s way of coping is just fine. And he’s eight.

So what do I do, heading into week two? What do I show my kids to do?

I’m going to (really try to) focus on what is true and lean into Jesus. I will remember that I have a loving God who is big and powerful and not surprised by any of this. I will pray for all those on the front lines. I will do my part by staying home.

Shelter In Place Week One: From Homeschooling to Puppies who don’t care about social distancing.

Fast Food Social Distancing With Friends