Tag: family

Embracing the New Rhythm of Life

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I’m big on making lists.

I gave up on super detailed lists (with time slots assigned to tasks), though, a long time ago.

I’m still a paper planner girl; and I must write things down and see them on paper, rather than my phone.

I would never start my daily to do’s on time or finish them in said allotted time.

Life rarely happens on time. Not my time anyway.

Instead, I began to find a rhythm to my day and stuck with that.

I find that the rhythm of my days change with seasons. That means actual seasons but also seasons of life.

This last year of life, these last 12 months have looked like……..

Lily going to (real) school for the time ever.

My mom’s death.

Winter.

Boomer’s death.

Spring.

End of school year madness.

Summer.

Many trips and family time and getting back to nature.

Rest.

Rest and nature.

Now fall.

My winter rhythm was different, of course, than spring’s. Spring was much busier. Activities that had taken a hiatus started back up again. The days got longer. Warmer. In homeschool land, we shook off the coziness and slowness of winter and geared up to finish out the year, hopefully strong.

My winter was different this past year from any other year. My rhythm wasn’t much of a rhythm. It was more of a “Let’s just get through the days.”

Let’s just get through the holidays.

Let’s just get through my mom’s birthday.

Let’s just get through the memorial service.

After we bury her, things will get back to normal.

Lily going to school each day and tennis, homework, basket ball practice for H, Awana, youth group, our homeschool co-op day……those activities all helped me put one foot in front of the other during this last winter and spring. It wasn’t that my rhythm was off. I had no rhythm of any kind. I just woke up, did all the things, and was so glad to crawl back into bed each day.

Death and grief have it’s own rhythm.

I’m so thankful that rhythms change, though. Spring came after a winter of what seemed like a never ending successions of storms ( You know the kind of weather where you scream, ” I can’t handle another rainy day!) Then we had the unexpected joy of snow. Snow? Of all things, snow. It was magical. Eventually, the days got longer and the sun began to shine.

My heart began to feel lighter and the tears, while they came, didn’t seem to come quite as often.

I had a realization. My thought was, “Grief has taken up a seat at the table and I can’t ask it to leave. I can walk with it, though. I guess I don’t really have a choice.” Grief had fallen into step in my new spring rhythm.

Spring came with it’s own rhythm and it’s own brand of busy.

Summer came and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait for all the activities to stop and for school to pause. I was counting down the days to when Lily came home and I didn’t have to ask, “So, what’s for homework?” I was ready to relish in the days of shorts, no shoes and trips to the pool. I was ready to not feel so sad all the time.

Summer was delightful. It had it’s own rhythm with a kind of low key, unstructured chaos. I love summer.

And here I come, full circle in my year. Fall.

I love summer but fall is my favorite.

The rhythm has changed again. Slowly this time. Soccer started back up. Then school. Then youth group. Then our Co-op and now Awana. The Hubs has a completely different schedule this next stretch. Thankfully all these changes didn’t happen at once. I’m learning to find my new cadence in this new season.

We recently came up on a year without my mom. Grief looks a little different now. It doesn’t hurt any less, I don’t miss her any less. I think there is an acceptance of “this is just the way things are now” that can only come with time. I’ve just made room for it. Grief is just an expression of the love we have for someone we can’t express it to anymore. It’s beautiful actually.

I’m ready for fall. I’m ready for cooler nights, baking homemade apple pie, making stews and soups. I’m ready for all things pumpkins. Give me all the pumpkins! I’m ready for watching Nightmare Before Christmas with my family while wearing my Jack Skellington socks. We are neck deep in soccer and co-op with Henry. Lily is loving school and is on the hunt for a homecoming dress. I’m ready for this new rhythm and embracing the busyness of fall while looking for those moments to be still and read and write. And drink tea, of course.

It’s Me, Hi.

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It’s me, Jen. Hi.

Can I tell you a little story? It’s about this girl who had glasses. Her 6th grade teacher gave everyone a marbled black and white composition book and throughout the year we wrote various types of things in it…. journal pages of field trips, ficticious stories, etc. Early on she learned to “write what you know” and so she wrote a lovely story in her white and black composition book about a wonderful, whimsical land called “Glasses Land”. It was made out of glass and all the characters were pairs of glasses.

Here I am, half way through my 49th year of life and I’m still “writing what I know”.

Since it’s been, as my 15 year old would say, “a hot minute” since I’ve posted on my blog, I thought I would do a little reintroduction.

Hi, I’m Jen.

While I still love all the things in that original introduction, (You can read the original About Me here) I’m a little older now and a little grayer. I’ve lost a parent. I only have one of those rascally pups. Instead of littles at my feet, I have a beautiful sophmore in high school and an energetic pre-teen. Hence, the gray.

I’ve learned to slow down a bit more and I’ve learned more than ever that I really don’t know what I’m doing. Truly. I do my best and ask God for a lot of grace.

I just celebrated 23 years with the Hubs, who is now a Sergeant. I’m not a newbie cop’s wife anymore. I’ve been in the trenches for more than a decade with my police officer. Being a police officer’s wife has taught me a lot about patience, flexibility and expectations.

I’m still a book nerd. I still love coffee more than I should but can only drink two cups…..cuz heartburn.

I’ve taken up embroidery and really love it. That was a pandemic hobby that stuck with me.

I’m still homeschooling and loving it. Though now I just homeschool one.

There have been a few constants throughout my life; and writing has been one of them. That little girl that wrote in her black and white composition book, now writes in a big girl journal. I’m still writing. Still sharing. Still telling stories. I was thinking about all my past writing endeavors, especially my blogs, and how they’ve brought me here to this space.

My first ever blog was titled Seniorita Sassy Pants (blog spot) – I guess the name was a nod to my hispanic heritage and me ackowledging the fact that I’m quite sassy? I’m not really sure. That blog was a lifetime ago but the name has a ring to it and I still stand by it! This blog started before The Hubs and I even had kids.

Then there was Sock Monkey Tales- Ahh…. good memories here. I was in the throes of early motherhood. I really cherish these posts. I’m so glad I wrote through those years. I’m especially glad I documented H’s birth and our NICU story.

Now we come to The Accidental Domestic. – That’s me now. It’s my family now. I planned for this blog to grow with us as a family and with me as a writer. Ever changing. While our family is youngish, we do not have little kids anymore. As we grow and change (and get a little older), I’ll keep writing what I know.

Thanks for joining me.

Jen (the little girl who wore glasses) Can you find me? There are only a few girls with glasses.

The Inbetween Time

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photo credit @andosfauxtos

These days are definitely in that hazy summer/back to school time.

We started school last week. It was a very soft start. Today as I type, it’s a holiday and so we are already taking a day off of school. I don’t usually take Labor day off; but this year I thought, “Why not?” And so we are.

Some fall activities have started up. Some haven’t. School has started. Co-op hasn’t. Some days are overcast and cool. Some days, like today, are blazing hot. Fall decorations are out at all the stores; but the pool is still open.

It will be a couple of weeks until everything that we have on our plates (I think) for fall is up an running.

Part of me is missing the freedom of summer. The other part is craving the structure of a schedule.

Part of me is relishing in the fact that in a few minutes I’m throwing on shorts, a t-shirt, flip flops and I’m ready for the day. The other part can’t wait for boots, sweaters and a visit to the pumpkin patch. Ok, who am I kidding? Try three or four visits to a pumpkin patch.

My kids would gladly go back to our summer unschedule in a heartbeat.

With one foot in each season, I’m torn between the two myself. Here’s what I’m thankful for, though:

I’m thankful that everything didn’t start up at once. We take breaks from sports, and most things during the summer. So, I’m thankful that everything doesn’t get dumped on us at once.

I’m thankful for the ramping up time, even though the hazy inbetweeness leaves me not quite knowing what to do with myself.

Here’s to “Not Quite Summer Anymore But Not Quite Fall”!

3 Things

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There are a few things that mark the calendar telling us we have transitioned from one season to the next. Around here, as we transitioned from winter to spring, I noticed the days staying lighter longer. The days were gradually warmer; but the nights were chilly. Baseball started with practices, batting cages, and Saturdays cheering H on at the Little League Park.

Life definitely went from a cozy state of hibernation to a busyness that honestly took me by surprise. For over a year life had been put on hold and it seemed liked “all of a sudden” life opened back up. We hit the ground running.

Spring does tend to do that each year; but the slowness that was 2020 just magnified our fast- paced spring this year.

I’m missing my quiet days a bit but I’m happy that life in many ways seem to be returning to normal, whatever that is now.

Spring flew by and now I’m knee deep in summer. I still have over a month of summer vibes left (though, part of that will be getting ready for school) and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I’ve gotten into a practice over this past year of reflecting over one season as I head into the next. Thank you Emily P. Freeman for your Next Right Thing Journal and podcast. Thank you Covid for the months of “nothing on my calendar” and quiet to begin the practice of reflecting. As we left winter and plunged into spring, and are now enjoying summer, I want to share 3 things: 3 things I’ve learned, 3 things I’m leaving behind and 3 things I’m taking with me into this next season of summer.

So I guess that’s 9 things.

3 Things I’ve Learned:

1.) There are natural rythmns to each seasons. I’m learning not to fight them but rather go with with them and embrace them.

Winter was slower and we stayed closer to home. Spring sprung big time with its warm weather, outside activities and more. It was a little overwhelming for me; but I tried to embrace and enjoy it for what it was. It wasn’t a time to “get all the things done”. Some of those things could wait until summer with its slower pace.

2.) Being small isn’t bad.

I think Covid stripped a lot of stuff away. Some of it was good and deeply missed. Some of the things, activites and even people were not missed. And as we’ve come to “normal” life I’ve been able to decide what I want to come back to. My world and circle of people have gotten smaller. Some responsibilities and many things I thought I couldn’t cut out of my life are gone. My world has gotten smaller and I feel smaller; but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

3.) My love of murder mystery books

I’ve stumbled onto Louise Penny and her world of Three Pines with Chief Inspector Armand Gamache and I’m forever a fan. While these are murder mystery books, they are much more about complex characters and relationships. Also, I love trying to figure out who the murderer is before the book is done.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind:

My mask, hopefully, forever

But really just the feeling of fear that seemed to surround 2020.

Summer Mom Guilt

My kid’s summer reading challenge has been left somewhere between the pool and summer camp and nary a flashcard has been seen. My summer bucket list consists of one (Just One) house project which I’ve already completed. ( I painted my master bedroom!) I’ve listened to two audio books, read two mystery books, plus snippets of other books. I have not kept up on my housework. I’ve slept in. My goal this summer was not to feel guilt about some crazy summer expectations that only I had for myself.

Good sleep as an option

I hate to break it to all you 20 and 30 somethings. There is no guarantee of good sleep on a regular basis. Sorry, that’s just the facts, man. I was getting the exact opposite of good sleep, though, and I wasn’t getting nearly enough. The thing is a lot of my poor sleep was from my poor choices. I needed to adult up and make better sleep a priority.

3 Things I’m Taking With Me:

My love of murder mystery books

I’m pretty much hooked on Louise Penny books but I’m open to try other authors. Any suggestions?

Wearing Dresses

One day I walked out of Target with three dresses and a jumper. A jumper! If you know me, you’ve probably never seen me in a jumper. I can’t go back. Long, flowing dresses are the thing. Now, every single thing I bought that day was blue or had blue in it. So, I need to work on my color palette. Bring on those dresses, though!

The idea that my health and taking time to be healthy is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Oh boy, this is a whole blog post on it’s own. Let’s just say that taking care of me (like most moms) was not at the top of any list. You pay a price when you do that, though. It’s not the price I want to pay. Like, the poor sleep choices, I’m adulting up and making better choices about my health. Yes, it takes some time. It’s not a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Enjoying these sweet last days of summer.

Ten Quarantine Lifesavers

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Call it what you will, Shelter in Place, Quarantine, Lockdown. We are stuck at home. Well, if you live in California, you are still supposed to be sheltering at home.

It’s been seven weeks. Seven weeks! Yup, that’s 49 days. Good for you doing the math.

Here are 10 things that are getting me through this abnormal, faith testing, bizarro time in our history.

1.) Memes. I’ve always been a big fan of the meme. Now, more than ever, the clever humor of memes bring daily laughter into my life. We need to laugh, people; or we will go insane. Memes that give a snarky jab of truth are even better.

Here’s some of my faves. This is just the tip of the meme iceberg, though. If you follow me on Instagram @theaccidentaldomestic and watch my instastories, you’ll see all my favorites.

2. SGN (Some Good News) is a weekly You Tube “news show” hosted by John Krasinski. So, I’m going to watch Jim Halpert in anything he’s in. If you don’t know who he is, we obviously aren’t friends. (The Hubs and I have watched The Office so many times we’ve lost count.) Anyway, the reason I love this show is that John highlights real people doing real things to spread good news and kindness around the world during this time. He has celebrity friends come on each week to help him celebrate and honor the people on the front lines and the next door neighbor who’s being kind and making a differnece.

I cry every single week.

Here is the episode of SGN where John arranges for nurses in Boston to have a private trip to Fenway Park. He enlists the Red Sox and a special video visit from Big Papi who gives everyone at the hospital free baseball tickets FOR LIFE. Grab your tissues.

3.) The Holderness Family is hilarious and hit it out of the park every time. Before the pandemic hit, I was enjoying their videos. Can I just say, since this craziness all started, the videos have gotten better and funnier. They get us. They just do.

I can’t pick a favorite video; but here’s a good one. Enjoy.

4.) Homemade Dole Whip. Disney has been releasing recipes of some of their favorite park treats. If you are a Disney fan, you understand why this is a big deal. If not, you’ll still enjoy this easy; but delicious recipe:

I big scoop of vanilla icecream, 2 cups of frozen pineapple chunks, 4 oz. of pineapple juice, and blend.

My friend, Christine, and I eating actual Dole Whip. Our fave!

You’re welcome.

5.) Zoom Calls. Who would have ever thought that 2 months ago social distancing and Zoom Meetings would become a normal part of our vernacular? Here are some really neat ways that Zoom Calls have helped us stay connected with family and friends. For this, I’m truly thankful.

Birthday family zooms and Mimi reading to H at night.

Zoom Family Trivia Night has been a great way to connect. All across the country, each week, we gathered and answered trivia questions. Our cousin, John, organized it all and it was so fun. We laughed and we got to visit with one another. Andy and I won the tournament; but I’m not here to brag.

6.) Curbside Pick – Up. We are still trying to patron our local eateries so they don’t go out of business during this time. Also, I’m sick and tired of cooking. So, it’s a Win-Win. My all-time favorite shop The Sunny Side Cottage is posting things on-line. I can call, order and pick up my merch.

7.) Drives. We can’t get out and do anything; (Though, I’m praying this changes very soon.) but taking drives through our beautiful Sonoma County countryside reminds me that there is life beyond my four walls. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now; but we will get back to it!

8.) Doing Lives with Lily. Lily and I have been doing really fun DIY Lives this past month. We’ve been posting them to my Accidental Domestic Facebook page each week. It’s given us something else to focus on and look forward to. Hopefully it’s been a bright spot for others. We have had fun doing it together.

Here’s our latest LIVE.

9.) Gardening. My garden always brings me a lot of joy. This year, it needed some extra TLC because I had neglected it during the winter. I’ve been spending a lot of time out side working, cleaning up, planting and tending. Being outside with my hands in the dirt has been the best thing for me.

10.) Time Outs. For Me. Going to my room, once a day, and shutting the door. This is a sanity saver.

There you have it? What have been your Quarantine Lifesavers???

3 Things….

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3 things2

3 Things I learned this winter.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind This Spring

3 Weeks Of Shelter In Place

Originally, my plan was to post “What I Learned This Winter” at the beginning of March. Then Corona hit. I got mmmm….just a little distracted. I finally sat down and hammered out some thoughts about all that was going on and posted that here. So, while I’m already working on “What I Learned This Spring”, ( This spring has been epic and life changing and we are only 3 weeks in.) I still wanted to post this.

It’s all still true. Though now posting about what I learned during the winter kind of seems trivial and light – hearted amid all that’s going on. A little levity may be what we all need right now. That and a reminder that hopefully life will go somewhat back to normal in the future.

So here’s 3 Things I Learned This Winter, 3 Things I Want To Leave Behind, and a 3 Weeks Shelter In Place Update (for posterity).

3 Things I Learned This Winter:

My goal was to post 5-7 things I learned; but my brain is muddled with the latest Corona count, how to disinfect my groceries, and homeschooling my kids during isolation. So, this is what you get.

  1. Sometimes You Just Need To Start.

I’m a planner, list maker and backwards planner. I’ve got my monthly goals, my weekly goals, and my daily goals all written out in my favorite colored pens. I’m learning that all the planning the world doesn’t do me any good if I don’t just start already! Just start. Even if I don’t have a plan. This has been hard for me. I’m a work in progress.

Note: I’m laughing at my goal making right now because what my planner usually looks like and what it looks like now is quite different. Now, I just plan Zoom calls.

2. I’ve Missed Reading A Really Good Page Turner.

I’ve missed reading in general. I’ve been doing more of it and it’s made me really, really happy. Recently I read Woman in the Window. It was a suspenseful page turner. I wasn’t reading to understand something better or gain knowledge. I was just reading for fun.

Note: I’ve definitely had more time to read these last few weeks.

3. Getting Older Sucks; But I’m Not Alone.

I stepped out of the car and somehow twisted my ankle. I started to chase my 8 year old at the park and realized my legs weren’t working right somehow. I twisted my knee getting up from sitting on the ground. I’m getting older; but come on! It seems like the 40’s is also code for “body parts wearing down”. I know I’m not alone here. I think I need to start exercising more than once a week.

Note: Since our Shelter In Place 22 days ago I’ve done a lot more walking. Thanks, Corona Virus, for upping my exercise game. Also, I chased Henry down the road today and did not pull a thing or get winded. Improvement!

3 Things I Want To Leave Behind

  1. Worry

Can I say leave behind Covid-19?

I’d really like to kick that one in the mouth, to the curb, and off the side of a cliff. Ok, I don’t have the power to do that. I am, however, working on leaving WORRY behind. I’ve had enough sleepless nights and anxious thoughts in the past 24 + days to confirm, yet again, that me worrying doesn’t change a single thing. This is not easy to do. AT ALL!!! God has been working on my unbelieving heart. “Are you going to say that you trust me? Or are you actually going to do it? Are you going to lay it at my feet, each day? Each hour? Do you really believe I’m as big and powerful as you say I am?”

2. Hating My Age

Ever since 40 I’ve spent each birthday like I was facing impending doom. About a month prior to the day, I’ve wondered in disbelief on how I got here so quickly? How did my face get like this? Why is my arm skin hanging like that? I have to dye my roots already. Ugghhh….. 40’s.

I’m kinda sick of the negative self talk. Honestly, this virus has showed us all, about as clear as can be, that we do not know when our last day is our last day. I’m done dreading the age. I’m celebrating it. I’m 46! I just spent my birthday in quarantine and it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

3. Eating Out So Much

Ha! Yes, this is me being funny. We’ve been ordering from a local restaurant once a week; but other than that it’s me, cooking, all the time…….

3 Weeks Into Quarantine Looks Like:

Making Bath Bombs With Lily

Taking Walks. This is from our last hike we took in a park in Napa. Shortly after this, all the parks were closed. Rain or shine, we get our walks in.

Still Schooling

Zoom Calling

Falling In Love With Embroidery

Shopping 6 Feet Apart

Foraging for Flour

My 46th Birthday

Being Together….a lot.

Hang in there, gang!

My Accidental Pumpkin Patch

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I have an affinity for pumpkins. Just ask anyone.

The question around October 1st isn’t, “Jen, will you go to the pumpkin patch this year?” It’s “Jen, how many times are you going to the pumpkin patch this year?”

I love all things pumpkin. One of my greatest joys is wandering around a farm with vines and vines of pumpkins, going on a hayride, and a good corn maze doesn’t hurt. I enjoy picking out the perfect gourd like most women enjoy picking out a pair of shoes.

A dream of mine was to grow my own pumpkins. (Actually my dream was to grow the pumpkins, then make a homemade pumpkin pie from scratch, crust included, from the homegrown pumpkins. I did just that. Once. And only once.)

One spring I planted seeds and grew about 4 pumpkins in my back yard. A couple of years later we moved and I just didn’t have the space. Then one December, I did something quite without meaning to and my accidental pumpkin patch was born.

This is my very first pumpkin patch. Henry was 3 and Lily was 6.

While my porch is delightfully overrun with pumpkins in the fall, come the day after Thanksgiving, fall is back in the bins until next year. As I pulled out my Christmas decorations, I couldn’t bear to part with my beautiful pumpkins. They were simply too pretty to throw away.

So off in the corner of the front lawn they went. The Hubs tucked them neatly away off to the side of our front yard and there they stayed and were eventually forgotten until about March. After some epic rain we noticed the pumpkins were decomposing. Andy pitched the decaying gourds into the trash and left the innards of seeds scattered on the ground.

Then something amazing happened. A month or so later, with more rain, I noticed some pumpkin leaves. Those baby seed leaves and then large green leaves are unmistakable. We accidentally planted a mini pumpkin patch!!!

I was absolutely giddy. I’ve never been happier.

My original Accidental Pumpkin Patch

I think we grew four pumpkins that year.

Ahh… This is just 2 years ago and they look like babies!!! H (6) L (9)

Ok, can I just stop and cry about how much older they look now? This was just two years ago. This also documents the time that Henry decided to cut his own hair……

Wearing my gardening shoes
Classic Bang Chop

Fast forward to the next year. We did the same thing again. This time the seeds didn’t take. Which didn’t entirely surprise me because I made no attempt to actually plant the seeds. We just leave them on the ground and see what plants itself. No pumpkin patch last year.

This past spring, though, my heart skipped a beat as I peered out onto our front yard. Our lawn has turned into a pretty pathetic weed patch, unfortunately, so seeing those pumpkins leaves brought a big, fat smile to my face. Yes, we had another mini pumpkin patch!

Accidental Pumpkin Patch 2019
I’ve got little ones this year!
This is my only green pumpkin or perhaps an acorn squash.

This year’s patch is different in a few ways. I have 14 pumpkins instead of 4!!! They are much smaller from two years ago, though. I have about 4 different kinds of pumpkins this time which is really fun. I never know which of my pumpkin seeds will take so it’s fun to see which ones grow.

What started as me purely wanting to enjoy my pumpkins a little longer (and then a bit of laziness) has turned into a delightful tradition. It was all very accidental which kinda goes with me, don’t you think? Will I make pies out of my pumpkins or carve them? How long will they stay on the vine? Will I give in and actually plant seeds next year? I don’t know. But that’s all part of the fun.

Our Latest Trip to The Pumpkin Patch Henry (8) Lily (11)

When You Hit The Ground Running

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We’ve been summer traveling. It’s been fun, to say the least. Seeing new places, spending time with family and friends. No schedule. No routine. Making memories. Not getting nearly enough sleep.

Then home.

In 16 days, I went on three trips (two with my family, one with my Young Living sisters). I was home for a total of two days in between trips.

I came home exhausted. I’m not complaining. (Ok, maybe a little.) Can you complain from having too much fun? Nevertheless, my body and mind were tapped out.

So what did we do as soon as we got home? Hit the ground running, of course. Lily took off to the fair, I headed to book club, got to work on a Women’s Ministry Event, and Andy resumed work. Meanwhile I worked through loads of laundry and literally cups of Family Camp dirt. (We go to our church’s family camp each summer and come home with a lot of the famous “orange family camp dirt”.)

And then my dad had emergency surgery 2 days after we returned home. I won’t get into details; but he had complications from kidney stones which are in BOTH kidneys and still haven’t been removed. I drove over to be with my mom and possibly spend the night while my sister was in the ER with our dad. After 3 weeks of non-stop, we came home to NON- STOP.

Wait a minute. I needed a breather.

I knew my dad’s situation wasn’t life or death; but when your parents get older, sometimes routine procedures don’t turn out routine. You know what I mean? As I drove over to their house with my kids in the back seat this image kept coming to my mind.

I was in elementary school and I walked past my parent’s room. The door was open just a bit and I could see my mom. She was pulling her shirt over her head. My mom was getting dressed while sitting on the edge of her bed and she was crying. She was looking up at my dad with tears running down her cheeks. I would find out later that her dad had just died.

I had to be about Henry’s age, when my grandpa died. Which made my mom just a little bit younger than what I am now.

How did she work full-time, take care of multiple kids and a household while going through something so heartbreaking? How do you do life and keep going (because life just keeps going) when the abnormal, the hard and the tragic happen?

My mom and grandpa lived in different states. Though she didn’t see him as often as I see my parents, she was very close to him and had always been since she was little.

This is what I thought about as I drove over to sit with my mom and keep her company until my sister and dad came home, whenever that would be.

My dad is doing okay. He still has those stones!!! He has a few more procedures to go through. My parents are going to need a lot of help over the next several weeks. Life keeps going; but my priorities have changed suddenly.

Summer is winding down and new things are ramping up. Soccer, Co-Op, a new home school year, and I could go down the lists of “all the things” but I don’t think I need to. I think we all have our lists of “all the things”.

I’ve recently decided that when I feel overwhelmed, which I’ve been feeling lately, I’m going to give myself some grace, slow it down, take that list of “all the things” and just do the best I can.

Hey Mamas, as you go into this week and these final days of summer, let’s slow it down just a little bit longer. As we ramp up for the new school year or maybe just a new season in life, let’s just do the best we can. Let’s not beat ourselves up when we don’t finish the list. Let’s be okay when our normal gets interrupted with the unexpected.

I’m learning this lesson right now. I’m also learning how much sleep I need and that I’m not getting enough. Let’s hear it for naps!!

*Since I wrote this, we’ve had two other trips to the ER for my dad. The stones aren’t out yet. Though he is feeling better, we are waiting for a date to blast those stones!!! I’m praying for only scheduled hospital visits from here on out and no more ER visits!!!

Milestones: Big and Small. They Build A Story.

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The way I process life and all it’s happenings is through writing. I also talk Andy’s ear off which is helpful for me. He’s incredibly patient.

So as I process and now talk your ear off (Thank you to those who choose to read this.), I’m realizing that last week was a week full of milestones for our family. Some big. Some small. All significant.

It was Friday night. I was beyond the point of being tired or even exhausted. I was running on fumes. The weekend was packed and had barely begun. But my body demanded I stop and rest.

The previous week we had gone camping with friends. It was such a fun trip; but let’s be real. Camping is not relaxing. It’s fun; but it’s a lot of work. And it’s dirty. And I got 19 mosquito bites.

The day we got home I got a terrible migraine, followed by another one. It was not a restful weekend. Somehow I managed to get Lily packed for Jr. High Camp (Milestone #1).

Mamas, chime in on this one. Sending your first born off for FIVE DAYS without you and probably not showering is a BIG DEAL!!! Right??? And as I’ve been saying for months, Jr. High should start in 7th grade, not 6th. Ok, that’s another issue.

But we did it. Andy and I packed her up, dropped her off and drove away. Granted she was in a cabin with best friends and her counselor was one of my former students. (Thank you, Lord!)

Just a mere two days later my almost 8 year old FINALLY learned to swim. If you didn’t read my post about it, you can read it here. (Milestone #2)

Four days later my baby turned 8. Even though I’ve specifically forbade him to do such a thing, even begged him, he defied me and turned a year older anyway. (Milestone #3)

So on the eve of H’s birthday, I lay next to Andy, just letting my weary bones be. I took time to sort my thoughts a bit. My muscles were sore from painting Lily’s room that week. I wanted to surprise her while at camp. It took much longer than I thought, though. I did it completely by myself and was pretty much over it by Wednesday. ( Though I was still painting Friday morning.) I swore I’d never paint another room again.

Me: “So much has happened this week. Lily going to camp, Henry swimming, getting ready for his birthday party, family coming in for your dad’s big day, and painting that stupid room.” (Lily loved her “stupid”, new painted room by the way, so it was worth it.)

At this point we both drifted off to sleep. Andy had worked the night before and was operating on about two hours of sleep. I was hosting an 8 years old’s birthday party the next day and needed my wits about me.

The weekend entailed a jumpy house, 8 little jumpers, baseball cupcakes, a family birthday bbq and a big baseball cake. There were presents, laughing, eating and lot of happy memories.

I have an eight year old now.

The biggest milestone (#4) was my father- in-law retiring (sort of) from 30 years of ministry at SRBC, 26 as our Senior Pastor. He’ll be on staff part-time; but he won’t be the head guy anymore.

Faithful. I’ve been pondering that word all week. That is my Father in Law. Faithful to preach God’s Word. Faithful to his wife and family. Faithfully serving others. 30 years of doing anything these days is almost unheard of, let alone serving in the same church, preaching week after week and doing it compassionately. It’s such a rare blessing.

What a week, right? Some of these milestones were big and some were small; yet they were all significant moments. They tell a story about who we are as a family and where we’ve been. Most importantly, it tells about where we are going. Some roads ahead are clear and some, not so much. As I look back at our week one thing is clear. God was faithful so I know he will be faithful on the journey ahead, in the next milestone.

God’s faithfulness and his hand are so evident in all the events of that week and I would be missing so much if I didn’t recognize it.

If it were up to me, I would have spaced out all the happenings of the week. You know, to make life a little less crazy. He’s writing the story, though, not me. And what a beautiful story it is.

Hey Mamas, Trust God, Time and Levi

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One week ago, today, Henry learned how to swim.

This has been a long time coming.

Four days before his 8th birthday, I prayed and prayed, “Lord, let this round of swim lessons be the ones that finally click for him. Let this be the summer that he overcomes his fear of the water.”

Last week was a week of milestones for our family. Some big and some small; but definite milestones.

I’m still processing all the things (which is why you are getting this post today); but I learned a lesson that I’ve been in the process of learning since I became a mom.

The lesson is this. Kids are going to do things in their own time. There are some things that you just can’t push or rush. You have to give them time, trust God (And in this case, trust Levi. Don’t worry. Explanation to come.)

I’ve been taking this kid for swim lessons since he was 3. While he had great, patient, wonderful swim teachers (Thank you Grace and Paul! You are a BIB reason why he is swimming sans floaties right now. All those years of positive experiences in the water, finally paid off!), we’d end each week long session with him still afraid to let go of his teacher in the water. Still not swimming.

We’d swim throughout the summer. And maybe we could have exposed him to the water more often. I felt like we went to the pool often enough, though. Yet, at the end of each summer he was still wearing the floaties and still afraid to let go in the water.

So a few things contributed to him swimming: I think a huge part of it was just maturity and growing up. Every kid is different as when it will click for them whether it comes to reading, getting potty trained, or swimming.

Also, peer pressure. Nothing motivates you faster than seeing all your friends swimming in the deep end without floaties. Parents, don’t underestimate the power of positive peer pressure.

Lastly, I think God drops people into your life to speak to you in a slightly different way than others have before. You hear it, accept it, or just connect with a person in a certain way. You may have heard a message a million times; but a speaker delivers the same message in a different way or when you are in a different place in your life and IT JUST CLICKS.

We only had 3 days of swim lessons for an hour each day. My hopes were high but realistic.

Fortunately, we started these lessons off with him fully putting his head under the water right from the get go. But as Levi pointed out, Henry had a death grip (and he does). He was not letting go.

It’s kinda hard to learn to swim in the deep end if you don’t let go of the hand in the shallow end.

After the first day of lessons:

“Levi is not going to let you sink, Henry. He just isn’t. Even if you began to sink, he’s right there. He’ll pull you up. You just have to trust Levi.”

“It’s hard to trust, mom.”

“I know, babe. That’s the whole thing, though. That’s what trust is. It’s not easy. It is hard. You can do it.”

Second day of lessons:

Levi: “Henry, you just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it and then just do it.”

And he did.

He let go.

He swam. Across the shallow end of the pool.

He then wanted to learn to dive off the side of the pool. And he did.

He made the decision to trust and he just did it.

Or Levi has some sort of magical super power. Either way, the kid swam!

Later that day he was jumping off the diving board into the deep end, without floaties, and swimming like he’d been doing it for years. I was flabbergasted. I was grateful. I was doing a happy dance. I was so proud of him. I was relieved.

The third and final day of lessons was like watching a completely different kid. Where did this fearless guy come from? Two days later we were swimming at Morton’s Warm Springs with family. We had just picked up Lily from Jr. High camp and he surprised her by jumping into the pool without his floaties. Her face was priceless. His face was full of pride.

We asked him, “What made you decide to let go and just swim?”

Henry: “Mom told me to trust, Levi.”

Are you laughing? I am. It’s taken 5 years, and I don’t necessarily think he would have been swimming at 3 if Levi was his teacher. I think it was the right time, the right swim teacher, and it was God’s plan to use this experience to teach my little guy about trust. This is the first of many times, he’s going to need to trust God. Andy and I are going to be able to use this lesson with him for years to come. Hey, God is using Henry’s swim lessons to teach ME about trust.

I hope I remember all this when my kids aren’t doing something in the timeline that I feel is appropriate or convenient for me.

Hey Mamas, as you go into this week, whatever is happening too fast or too slow in your life just remember, trust God. Are your kids taking way too long to learn a lesson or don’t seem to be improving at all? Trust God’s timing. Trust is as equally simple as it is hard.

Are your kids needing to learn to swim? Give Levi a call.