Tag: perspective

The Inbetween Time

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photo credit @andosfauxtos

These days are definitely in that hazy summer/back to school time.

We started school last week. It was a very soft start. Today as I type, it’s a holiday and so we are already taking a day off of school. I don’t usually take Labor day off; but this year I thought, “Why not?” And so we are.

Some fall activities have started up. Some haven’t. School has started. Co-op hasn’t. Some days are overcast and cool. Some days, like today, are blazing hot. Fall decorations are out at all the stores; but the pool is still open.

It will be a couple of weeks until everything that we have on our plates (I think) for fall is up an running.

Part of me is missing the freedom of summer. The other part is craving the structure of a schedule.

Part of me is relishing in the fact that in a few minutes I’m throwing on shorts, a t-shirt, flip flops and I’m ready for the day. The other part can’t wait for boots, sweaters and a visit to the pumpkin patch. Ok, who am I kidding? Try three or four visits to a pumpkin patch.

My kids would gladly go back to our summer unschedule in a heartbeat.

With one foot in each season, I’m torn between the two myself. Here’s what I’m thankful for, though:

I’m thankful that everything didn’t start up at once. We take breaks from sports, and most things during the summer. So, I’m thankful that everything doesn’t get dumped on us at once.

I’m thankful for the ramping up time, even though the hazy inbetweeness leaves me not quite knowing what to do with myself.

Here’s to “Not Quite Summer Anymore But Not Quite Fall”!

3 Things

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There are a few things that mark the calendar telling us we have transitioned from one season to the next. Around here, as we transitioned from winter to spring, I noticed the days staying lighter longer. The days were gradually warmer; but the nights were chilly. Baseball started with practices, batting cages, and Saturdays cheering H on at the Little League Park.

Life definitely went from a cozy state of hibernation to a busyness that honestly took me by surprise. For over a year life had been put on hold and it seemed liked “all of a sudden” life opened back up. We hit the ground running.

Spring does tend to do that each year; but the slowness that was 2020 just magnified our fast- paced spring this year.

I’m missing my quiet days a bit but I’m happy that life in many ways seem to be returning to normal, whatever that is now.

Spring flew by and now I’m knee deep in summer. I still have over a month of summer vibes left (though, part of that will be getting ready for school) and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I’ve gotten into a practice over this past year of reflecting over one season as I head into the next. Thank you Emily P. Freeman for your Next Right Thing Journal and podcast. Thank you Covid for the months of “nothing on my calendar” and quiet to begin the practice of reflecting. As we left winter and plunged into spring, and are now enjoying summer, I want to share 3 things: 3 things I’ve learned, 3 things I’m leaving behind and 3 things I’m taking with me into this next season of summer.

So I guess that’s 9 things.

3 Things I’ve Learned:

1.) There are natural rythmns to each seasons. I’m learning not to fight them but rather go with with them and embrace them.

Winter was slower and we stayed closer to home. Spring sprung big time with its warm weather, outside activities and more. It was a little overwhelming for me; but I tried to embrace and enjoy it for what it was. It wasn’t a time to “get all the things done”. Some of those things could wait until summer with its slower pace.

2.) Being small isn’t bad.

I think Covid stripped a lot of stuff away. Some of it was good and deeply missed. Some of the things, activites and even people were not missed. And as we’ve come to “normal” life I’ve been able to decide what I want to come back to. My world and circle of people have gotten smaller. Some responsibilities and many things I thought I couldn’t cut out of my life are gone. My world has gotten smaller and I feel smaller; but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

3.) My love of murder mystery books

I’ve stumbled onto Louise Penny and her world of Three Pines with Chief Inspector Armand Gamache and I’m forever a fan. While these are murder mystery books, they are much more about complex characters and relationships. Also, I love trying to figure out who the murderer is before the book is done.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind:

My mask, hopefully, forever

But really just the feeling of fear that seemed to surround 2020.

Summer Mom Guilt

My kid’s summer reading challenge has been left somewhere between the pool and summer camp and nary a flashcard has been seen. My summer bucket list consists of one (Just One) house project which I’ve already completed. ( I painted my master bedroom!) I’ve listened to two audio books, read two mystery books, plus snippets of other books. I have not kept up on my housework. I’ve slept in. My goal this summer was not to feel guilt about some crazy summer expectations that only I had for myself.

Good sleep as an option

I hate to break it to all you 20 and 30 somethings. There is no guarantee of good sleep on a regular basis. Sorry, that’s just the facts, man. I was getting the exact opposite of good sleep, though, and I wasn’t getting nearly enough. The thing is a lot of my poor sleep was from my poor choices. I needed to adult up and make better sleep a priority.

3 Things I’m Taking With Me:

My love of murder mystery books

I’m pretty much hooked on Louise Penny books but I’m open to try other authors. Any suggestions?

Wearing Dresses

One day I walked out of Target with three dresses and a jumper. A jumper! If you know me, you’ve probably never seen me in a jumper. I can’t go back. Long, flowing dresses are the thing. Now, every single thing I bought that day was blue or had blue in it. So, I need to work on my color palette. Bring on those dresses, though!

The idea that my health and taking time to be healthy is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Oh boy, this is a whole blog post on it’s own. Let’s just say that taking care of me (like most moms) was not at the top of any list. You pay a price when you do that, though. It’s not the price I want to pay. Like, the poor sleep choices, I’m adulting up and making better choices about my health. Yes, it takes some time. It’s not a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Enjoying these sweet last days of summer.

3 Things….

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3 Things I learned this winter.

3 Things I’m Leaving Behind This Spring

3 Weeks Of Shelter In Place

Originally, my plan was to post “What I Learned This Winter” at the beginning of March. Then Corona hit. I got mmmm….just a little distracted. I finally sat down and hammered out some thoughts about all that was going on and posted that here. So, while I’m already working on “What I Learned This Spring”, ( This spring has been epic and life changing and we are only 3 weeks in.) I still wanted to post this.

It’s all still true. Though now posting about what I learned during the winter kind of seems trivial and light – hearted amid all that’s going on. A little levity may be what we all need right now. That and a reminder that hopefully life will go somewhat back to normal in the future.

So here’s 3 Things I Learned This Winter, 3 Things I Want To Leave Behind, and a 3 Weeks Shelter In Place Update (for posterity).

3 Things I Learned This Winter:

My goal was to post 5-7 things I learned; but my brain is muddled with the latest Corona count, how to disinfect my groceries, and homeschooling my kids during isolation. So, this is what you get.

  1. Sometimes You Just Need To Start.

I’m a planner, list maker and backwards planner. I’ve got my monthly goals, my weekly goals, and my daily goals all written out in my favorite colored pens. I’m learning that all the planning the world doesn’t do me any good if I don’t just start already! Just start. Even if I don’t have a plan. This has been hard for me. I’m a work in progress.

Note: I’m laughing at my goal making right now because what my planner usually looks like and what it looks like now is quite different. Now, I just plan Zoom calls.

2. I’ve Missed Reading A Really Good Page Turner.

I’ve missed reading in general. I’ve been doing more of it and it’s made me really, really happy. Recently I read Woman in the Window. It was a suspenseful page turner. I wasn’t reading to understand something better or gain knowledge. I was just reading for fun.

Note: I’ve definitely had more time to read these last few weeks.

3. Getting Older Sucks; But I’m Not Alone.

I stepped out of the car and somehow twisted my ankle. I started to chase my 8 year old at the park and realized my legs weren’t working right somehow. I twisted my knee getting up from sitting on the ground. I’m getting older; but come on! It seems like the 40’s is also code for “body parts wearing down”. I know I’m not alone here. I think I need to start exercising more than once a week.

Note: Since our Shelter In Place 22 days ago I’ve done a lot more walking. Thanks, Corona Virus, for upping my exercise game. Also, I chased Henry down the road today and did not pull a thing or get winded. Improvement!

3 Things I Want To Leave Behind

  1. Worry

Can I say leave behind Covid-19?

I’d really like to kick that one in the mouth, to the curb, and off the side of a cliff. Ok, I don’t have the power to do that. I am, however, working on leaving WORRY behind. I’ve had enough sleepless nights and anxious thoughts in the past 24 + days to confirm, yet again, that me worrying doesn’t change a single thing. This is not easy to do. AT ALL!!! God has been working on my unbelieving heart. “Are you going to say that you trust me? Or are you actually going to do it? Are you going to lay it at my feet, each day? Each hour? Do you really believe I’m as big and powerful as you say I am?”

2. Hating My Age

Ever since 40 I’ve spent each birthday like I was facing impending doom. About a month prior to the day, I’ve wondered in disbelief on how I got here so quickly? How did my face get like this? Why is my arm skin hanging like that? I have to dye my roots already. Ugghhh….. 40’s.

I’m kinda sick of the negative self talk. Honestly, this virus has showed us all, about as clear as can be, that we do not know when our last day is our last day. I’m done dreading the age. I’m celebrating it. I’m 46! I just spent my birthday in quarantine and it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

3. Eating Out So Much

Ha! Yes, this is me being funny. We’ve been ordering from a local restaurant once a week; but other than that it’s me, cooking, all the time…….

3 Weeks Into Quarantine Looks Like:

Making Bath Bombs With Lily

Taking Walks. This is from our last hike we took in a park in Napa. Shortly after this, all the parks were closed. Rain or shine, we get our walks in.

Still Schooling

Zoom Calling

Falling In Love With Embroidery

Shopping 6 Feet Apart

Foraging for Flour

My 46th Birthday

Being Together….a lot.

Hang in there, gang!

6 Things I Learned This Summer

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We are knee deep in fall around. We’ve already made our first trip to the pumpkin patch and as much as I want to post pics of pumpkin patches and write about my favorite fall things, I need to address summer one last time.

I’m not missing summer. In fact every day that reaches over 80 degrees, I quietly curse under my breath. I just want to wear leggings, boots and scarves, ok?

As I delightfully embrace my favorite season, I am reflecting back on summer and what it taught me. I got this idea by following a favorite writer and podcaster of my mine, Emily P. Freeman. She does this seasonally on her blog.

I honestly tried not to overthink these. These are the first 6 things that popped in my mind.

1.) I don’t ever want to cut my hair short again, ever. The last couple of times I’ve chopped my hair, I’ve loved it at first and then proceeded to grow it out. This last time, I cut it a bit too short and my only goal has been to grow it out. I think I’ve finally learned my lesson. No more above the shoulder cuts for me!

2.) I’m not a rush here, rush there kinda of girl. I’m not a schedule busting at the seams; but thriving off the hustle kinda gal. And that’s okay. I’ve never had a busier summer and it ran right into a very (unexpected) stressful August and September. I still haven’t recovered.

3.) Kids are really resilient if you give them a chance. You know that term “lawnmower parent”. Instead of “helicopter parenting”, we now mow the way clear of any struggles or obstacles? I’ve been guilty of that big time. I’m watching my kids experience disappointment and discomfort, knowing it is character building for them and fighting the urge to clear the path for them.

4.) Every show set in England is so much better to me! Father Brown Mysteries on BBC (Netflix for me) have been such a delightful find for me this summer.

5.) Podcasts are my new favorite. Emily P. Freeman’s podcast, The Next Right Thing is a weekly must for me right now.

6.) I am honestly terrified of saying “no” and letting people down. I knew it was a struggle for me; but this summer revealed that I’m down right scared. Unhealthy? Yes. Something I need to work on? You betcha. Big Time!

Reflecting is good, necessary really. Are there things I’ve learned in this last season that will help me make decisions going into this new season? I think so.

Though my summer was maybe a bit too busy, it was filled with good things. I spent time with family and friends. I saw new places and I’m so very thankful. Here’s to maybe a tad slower fall?

Hey Mamas, As you end the school year, remember this…..

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It’s May which means things are both winding down for the school year while at the same time spinning out of control. Am I right?

End of year parties, graduations, award ceremonies, school open houses, teacher gifts, final tests. If you have kids, there are still birthday parties, family birthdays, and possibly sports (Is anyone else still neck deep in baseball?)

While everything is heightened and a bit wonky in May, we still have to do the normal, everyday mundane little tasks that keep the wheels turning. You know, the little things like cooking, doing laundry, bathing your children and my least favorite task- grocery shoppping. Ok, it’s really a toss-up between grocery shopping and laundry. Anyways……..

So, take a step from the madness of May and look at your year? How did it go? Did your mind instantly fill up with all the ways you fell short? All the things that didn’t get crossed off the list? All the projects and activities that you thought for sure you would do, yet still lay unfinished? Are you automatically thinking of how you failed?

As a homeschool mom, I instantly thought of where I wanted to end up in all my subjects and where we actually stopped. (We are not year round homeschoolers. Mama needs a break!) I thought of the projects and fieldtrips that never came to pass. Yes, I unfortunately looked around at what other moms did with their kids and instantly felt less.

So let’s do something wild and what seems to be against our natural tendencies. Let’s look at what we did well. Let’s celebrate the heck out of it. Let’s end this year feeling like rock stars because in reality we are way too hard on ourselves. Shame never motivates anyone to do better. So why do we heap shame on ourselves, Mamas, by automatically looking at where we fall short and not on where we shine?

Maybe you are feeling awesome about your year. Maybe you needed to read this today. I needed to write it for myself. I’m choosing to focus on what went well. (I’m also reevaluating how I can make next year better.)

Here’s what went well. Here’s what I’m proud of. How about you?

*I taught Henry to read. He’s on the road to hopefully loving books. The fact that I’ve taught both my kids to read has been one of my greatest joys.

*We did our Morning Basket time pretty regularly this year. This is something I’ve been trying to get going for two years. This year we did it. We read some amazing chapter books during that time.

*I restarted my garden this year. Things are actually growing.

*We took some fun, short trips with the kids during the school year. We went to Yosemite in the winter for just a few days (This was on my bucket list.) We’ve hiked more and have gotten outside more with the kids this year.

*There have been a few friends God has allowed me to get to know better and develop deeper relationships with. This has been such an unexpected gift!

I’d love to hear what went well in this past year for you. Let’s celebrate each other!!!

And So She Writes:: A Girl And Her Blog

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No matter how far I stray.

No matter how much I neglect her.

No matter how long it’s been since I’ve hit that “Publish” button.

No matter the seasons of my life that come and go, she is steady. She’s always there waiting for me to come back to her. To spend time with her.

My trusty keyboard.

On many days it’s my spiral bound notebook. Or take your pick because I have many spiral bound notebooks.

I need time to stop and a bit of quiet. Believe me. That bit of quiet is rare these days. But when I do have it, all the words come tumbling out onto the page. Today it’s the computer screen.

And somehow from this jumble of words, thoughts, questions and feelings, I piece things together. They begin to make sense. The root of what’s been churning in me, troubling me, begins to come clear. That brilliant idea that’s been trying to surface begins to emerge. What’s been making me anxious, once it’s written down in plain sight, is not so scary as my head was making it out to be. God reveals those deep and quiet truths and my praise and worship back to Him take form in writing.

I just need to write.

I still need people to talk to.

I do.

I have this trusty and loving handful of souls that listen patiently.

But when my insides feel jumbled or I have big things to work through, writing it out has always been my way of sorting all my stuff. It’s how I best process my thoughts and feelings. And sometimes I share those thoughts and feelings with everyone, for some crazy reason.

Maybe because I know others need to hear that they aren’t the only ones who are grappling with life. Maybe because there is a connection people feel to each other when we share and see that we aren’t so different after all. Or maybe we are different and that’s what makes like so beautiful and interesting. Different often lends perspective.

For me I just say it so much better when I write it. I say things through the tapping of the keys and the scratching of the pen that I just can’t say out loud or face to face.

That’s why coming back to this space again and again is something I cherish so deeply. Sometimes the space is my trusty ol’ notebook that no one will ever see but me; and other times it’s right here on this screen. I’m so thankful for a place to share, a place to create and hopefully encourage. I’m equally as thankful for an audience, big or small, who keep reading.

Thanks for reading,

Jen

 

You Don’t Need To Be Great At Everything

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So, I’m not a very good cook. I’m just not.

Don’t feel bad for me. It doesn’t really bother me. It used to, for sure. But not anymore. My family gets fed and that’s what’s important.

I cannot for the life of me keep up on my laundry. I suppose I could if I really, really tried. But I don’t. It’s just not at the top of my priority list right now. We have clean, dry clothes. They are just piling up as I write in a nice, clean, wrinkled, wadded ball. The thing is, I’d rather be writing.

I’m not good at saving money or finding deals. I have friends who whip out the coupons, get things for free or manage to score great deals. Not me. I save money by doing one simple thing: Not spending it. I just go without. Not clever but it gets the job done.

It’s easy to think of what you aren’t good at. So, let’s change gears.

For some reason I thought there was this list of what “good moms” did. Where I got this idea from, I’m not really sure.

On that list included delicious home cooked meals each night (nothing processed), folded laundry (that was put away), sewing lessons with my daughter (when I can barely sew myself), a house that was always picked up and windows that weren’t smudged. It also included pinterest-worthy birthday parties, children’s rooms that were always picked up and an immaculent kept up yard.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love all those things (maybe not the pinterest-worthy birthday parties) and have done (or attempted) all those things. But not all at once! Oh, I’ve  tried to do them all at once. I’ve tried and failed.

Throw in kids, two adorable but stinky dogs, a husband’s crazy work schedule and you get the picture……..

I’m happiest when I’m not trying to do “all the things”. And when my season of life calls for doing “all the things”, I’m happiest when I’m not trying to be “super awesome” at everything I do.

Let’s focus on what we are stellar at and celebrate it. The other things have to get done. My family has to wear clothes, preferrably clean. But there is no “good mom list”. So as Elsa would say, “Let it go.”

So, here is what I am good at:

I’m good at making special memories for my kids. The first day of school, birthdays (And I’ve taken down the whole birthday business by several notches!), holiday traditions, etc. It’s my jam and I love doing it.

I’m flexible. I’m not so stuck to a schedule that I can’t stop and have fun with my kids. Or go on an impromptu adventure with the family. I think that’s pretty important.

Again, not the best cook; but I’m a good host. I’m good at opening up my home for birthdays, celebrations, home school co-op days or coffee with friends.

I think all those things make me a good wife, mom and friend.

What are you good at? Whatever it is, let’s be thankful we aren’t all the same and that we all bring something special to the table. It would be oh so very boring if we were all good at everything all the time, wouldn’t it?

 

One Thing Moms Should Stop Doing

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Moms, I used to do this all the time.

Ok, I still do; but I try really hard not to.  I’m more aware of it now so I start to catch myself before I say these words……

“I’m so sorry. My house is a mess.” As a friend comes over for a visit or to drop off a book.

“Sure you can drop by. I’ll be home. I’ve got to warn you, though, my house is a disaster.”

“I can give you a ride. I’m so sorry that my car is such a mess, though.”

Do you want to know the honest, selfish truth? When I walk into your house and it’s a bit of a hot mess; it makes me feel better about my house. Inside I breathe a silent sigh of relief and say, “I’m not the only one.”

On the other hand, if it looks like you should be on an episode of Hoarders, we may need to have a talk or perhaps an intervention.

Most of the time, though, when a friend of mine apologizes for her “horribly messy home”, in my eyes it just looks like she actually lives in her house…… with other people…….who leave their shoes in the middle of the floor and their cups out on the counter.

And for the life of me, I can’t seem to get my dogs to put their bones back into the toy basket. What’s up with that?!?5

What if when people came over we said, “Don’t you love how the sink is full of dishes and the floor littered with crumbs? I chose to play outside with my  kids instead of cleaning.”

I know that’s a little silly; but you get the point.

Mamas of  toddlers and babies, you are playing a whole different game. If you want to take a shower, work out, do something for yourself or work from home, your goal shouldn’t be to have everything picked up during the day. It will change as they get older and you’ll be teaching them to pick up their own toys.

I love and appreciate a picked up house and even shared some tips here; but apologizing for a messy house is something we all need to stop. Deal?

Now that I’m finished writing this post, I’m getting this urge to sweep and pull out the vacuum. Don’t worry, I’ll fight it.

Check out my post 5 Ways to Have a “Clean Enough” House.

Five Ways To Have a “Clean Enough” House

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I think there are four types of people:

#1 The people who never have anyone over because they’re embarrassed. Maybe their house is a hot mess or they feel their space is too small to entertain.

#2 The people who host like it was their college major. They’re house is neat and clean and a well oiled machine. Everything is in it’s place and not a smudgy door jam or hand printed sliding door in sight.

#3 The people who like to have others over and don’t mind that people see that they actually live in their house. It’s not a train wreck; but they have the pile of shoes by the front door, puppy paw prints on the floor and oh, don’t open their bedroom door. That’s where they stashed that last pile of stuff before everyone came over! (Or is that just me?)

#4 The people who hide and pretend they aren’t home when the door bell rings. Their home is their bat cave and they have no desire to let people know their address.

Whether you fall into any of these categories or not, I want to share a few things that helped me go from being a #1, becoming a #2 (sort of- I’ve never been quite organized enough to achieve that status) and now to a #3 (most days).

I’m not a #4. If you are, you’ve probably already clicked on to something else on your computer.

I was a #1 because I’ve always lived in small spaces. I used to let that keep me from having people over. I finally just decided that I didn’t care. I’d rather have the fun and connections instead of waiting for the spacious living room and large back yard. Then I started turning into a #2 and I exhausted myself. By the time our company had actually come over I was so tired from getting everything “just so” and barking out orders to my kids and The Hubs. And then I just had to clean up AGAIN after everyone left.

#3 is the sweetspot.

Here’s 5 ways to get there:

#1 Don’t Mop Before Your Guests Actually Come Over

For Heaven’s Sake do not mop. Unless your dog just pooped on the floor or you had a pot of raw chicken juice splatter everywhere, do not mop. This is especially crucial if your guests have kids. Those kids will track in dirt, drop food, and your floor will be a mess again in hot second. No one looks. No one cares.

If you are going to mop, do it after they leave. Then you can actually walk on your floor in your bare feet and enjoy yourself.

(Note: If you pastor is coming over, some missionaries, your husband’s boss…. break out the swiffer. I give you permission.)

#2 Pick Up As You Go

My mom must have told me this a hundred times. I never listened. I always had piles around my house. Piles of papers, piles of books (Okay, I still have those.),piles of mail. I’d let the kids leave their toys everywhere. Seriously, when I started picking up as I went and making my kids pick up their own mess, tidying up for company went much faster.

Mom, you were right, as always.

#3 Let Your Kids Clean Even Though It’s Not Perfect

Mamas of little ones, I know you aren’t there yet. You will be one day. Hold on. That day is coming.

My kids, 10.5 and 7, clean up the hallway bathroom. This bathroom is theirs as well as company’s. I don’t expect perfection and my 10 year old is fully capable of wiping down sinks, mirrors and toilets. My 7 year old can sweep, pick up items off the floor and empty the garbage. I use an amazing, all natural, chemical free cleaner that is safe for them to get on their hands and breathe in. I let them go for it and call it a day.

I do have to deep clean the bathroom from time to time. This has made getting ready for company less stressful. Kids doing chores for the win!

#4 Get Rid of Your Junk

Do you know how to organize clutter? Neither do I. Because you can’t.

We are always bringing new things into our home. It’s a sickness we Americans have. Nix the bringing in of stuff or at least be willing to purge things on a regular basis. Better yet, buy less and purge more!

You cannot organize clutter. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.

#5 Have People Over On A Regular Basis

I’m telling you, this works! Out of all my tips and tricks over the years, this is what helps the most. I’m not talking about throwing big lavish theme parties (though those are super fun) or the epic 40th birthday party (which I did throw). I’m talking about bbqs, a couple over for dinner, host a class/in – home party for a girlfriend, have friends over for a night or your parents for dinner. The less time in between get- togethers, the more often you are tidying up and before you know it you’ll be in a good habit of keeping your house clean(ish).

It’s All About Your Mindset.

If I’m focused on the fact that straightening up my home and keeping it clean (I didn’t say perfect and immaculate at all times) blesses my own family, first; and then enables me to have people over over which blesses them, second, I can find joy in cleaning up my house and I don’t feel the pressure to be picture perfect.

That’s not what it’s all about.

Confession: Cleaning is not my fave; but I sure love it when my house is clean.

 

Perspective

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We took the kids on a walk the other night and we ended up in our old neighborhood, the one Andy and I lived in when we first got married.

Funny story. When we first got married, we rented the two bedroom condo Andy had lived in with some friends before we got engaged. A couple of years later, we bought the condo directly across the parking lot from our current condo. Moving day was easy and kind of comical as we watched all our friends carry boxes just a few yards away. It was the first home we owned. It was actually much nicer on the inside than our previous condo, with upgrades and air conditioning. (And we’ve never had AC since.) It was at this point we were able to get our first dog, Jackson.

As we strolled past our old stomping grounds almost 18 years later (We lived there a total of 4 years.), we reflected on how much life had changed. We were newlyweds in those condos. We were figuring out each other and our life as a married couple. We were kidless and had so many free Saturdays.

Let’s just take a moment of silence for the quiet Saturdays I’m never getting back………………..

18 years, 2 kids, and 3 dogs later, life is definitely busier and more complicated; but wow, is it sweet. We’ve filled these last (almost) 18 years with amazing memories. And they all started in our little condo.

On our way to Family Fun day in the city.

I couldn’t help but notice how small our condo seemed as we walked past it. And yes, it was quite small.

We don’t live in a big house now, by any means; but we’ve come a long way since our first abode. Sometimes, when we need to get perspective, it’s good to look at where we’ve been and compare that to where we are now.

Sometimes, I compare myself to people around me. Really, that’s quiet unfair to myself. I’m on my own path and my growth chart. My passions and goals aren’t going to be same as the person next to me. Our family has it’s own course of action and our own path. God’s plan for my husband, my kids and for me, is ours and ours alone.

Our son, Henry, was born 10 weeks early and weighed 3 pounds, 10 oz. He’s never been on a “normal” growth chart. I’m not sure where he’d fall on a regular growth chart now at almost 7; but for several years our wonderful pediatrician didn’t even mark his growth on one. Rather, she gave him his own chart and showed us that he was progressing and growing; without comparing him to other boys his age. When we did compare he didn’t even make in on the chart. He’s still the smaller (and often the smallest) one when I see him next to boys his age; but all I see is a healthy kid, a healthy, happy, energetic, whole kid. And that’s all that matters.

I can look back and see growth and I can look ahead and get excited for the future; but looking to either side of me and sinking in the trap of comparison is pointless, even harmful. The here and now is far from perfect and most definitely not easy; but there is so much good in my present and hope in the future. Casting my eyes to the side and comparing myself to people who have a different path, different relationships, different family dynamics, different financial statuses, different personalities, different strengths, different weaknesses, and different passions just keeps me from enjoying my right now. It also keeps me from reaching the future goals God has for me and for my family.

I don’t have this whole mindset perfected. No, not at all. But God’s been teaching me a lot about a right perspective.

When we look to the left and the right, let’s do it encourage and to lend that skate; but not to compare. Perspective is a funny thing because it depends on which angle you choose to take, the negative or positive. We are all better off than someone and there is always someone who is more successful than we are. But if we look at in this way: That compared to how we started in the world, helpless and with nothing; we are all doing better than we deserve!

I’m thanking God for what he’s  given me today:salvation, joy and purpose. How about you.