Milestones: Big and Small. They Build A Story.

The way I process life and all it’s happenings is through writing. I also talk Andy’s ear off which is helpful for me. He’s incredibly patient.

So as I process and now talk your ear off (Thank you to those who choose to read this.), I’m realizing that last week was a week full of milestones for our family. Some big. Some small. All significant.

It was Friday night. I was beyond the point of being tired or even exhausted. I was running on fumes. The weekend was packed and had barely begun. But my body demanded I stop and rest.

The previous week we had gone camping with friends. It was such a fun trip; but let’s be real. Camping is not relaxing. It’s fun; but it’s a lot of work. And it’s dirty. And I got 19 mosquito bites.

The day we got home I got a terrible migraine, followed by another one. It was not a restful weekend. Somehow I managed to get Lily packed for Jr. High Camp (Milestone #1).

Mamas, chime in on this one. Sending your first born off for FIVE DAYS without you and probably not showering is a BIG DEAL!!! Right??? And as I’ve been saying for months, Jr. High should start in 7th grade, not 6th. Ok, that’s another issue.

But we did it. Andy and I packed her up, dropped her off and drove away. Granted she was in a cabin with best friends and her counselor was one of my former students. (Thank you, Lord!)

Just a mere two days later my almost 8 year old FINALLY learned to swim. If you didn’t read my post about it, you can read it here. (Milestone #2)

Four days later my baby turned 8. Even though I’ve specifically forbade him to do such a thing, even begged him, he defied me and turned a year older anyway. (Milestone #3)

So on the eve of H’s birthday, I lay next to Andy, just letting my weary bones be. I took time to sort my thoughts a bit. My muscles were sore from painting Lily’s room that week. I wanted to surprise her while at camp. It took much longer than I thought, though. I did it completely by myself and was pretty much over it by Wednesday. ( Though I was still painting Friday morning.) I swore I’d never paint another room again.

Me: “So much has happened this week. Lily going to camp, Henry swimming, getting ready for his birthday party, family coming in for your dad’s big day, and painting that stupid room.” (Lily loved her “stupid”, new painted room by the way, so it was worth it.)

At this point we both drifted off to sleep. Andy had worked the night before and was operating on about two hours of sleep. I was hosting an 8 years old’s birthday party the next day and needed my wits about me.

The weekend entailed a jumpy house, 8 little jumpers, baseball cupcakes, a family birthday bbq and a big baseball cake. There were presents, laughing, eating and lot of happy memories.

I have an eight year old now.

The biggest milestone (#4) was my father- in-law retiring (sort of) from 30 years of ministry at SRBC, 26 as our Senior Pastor. He’ll be on staff part-time; but he won’t be the head guy anymore.

Faithful. I’ve been pondering that word all week. That is my Father in Law. Faithful to preach God’s Word. Faithful to his wife and family. Faithfully serving others. 30 years of doing anything these days is almost unheard of, let alone serving in the same church, preaching week after week and doing it compassionately. It’s such a rare blessing.

What a week, right? Some of these milestones were big and some were small; yet they were all significant moments. They tell a story about who we are as a family and where we’ve been. Most importantly, it tells about where we are going. Some roads ahead are clear and some, not so much. As I look back at our week one thing is clear. God was faithful so I know he will be faithful on the journey ahead, in the next milestone.

God’s faithfulness and his hand are so evident in all the events of that week and I would be missing so much if I didn’t recognize it.

If it were up to me, I would have spaced out all the happenings of the week. You know, to make life a little less crazy. He’s writing the story, though, not me. And what a beautiful story it is.

Hey Mamas, Trust God, Time and Levi

One week ago, today, Henry learned how to swim.

This has been a long time coming.

Four days before his 8th birthday, I prayed and prayed, “Lord, let this round of swim lessons be the ones that finally click for him. Let this be the summer that he overcomes his fear of the water.”

Last week was a week of milestones for our family. Some big and some small; but definite milestones.

I’m still processing all the things (which is why you are getting this post today); but I learned a lesson that I’ve been in the process of learning since I became a mom.

The lesson is this. Kids are going to do things in their own time. There are some things that you just can’t push or rush. You have to give them time, trust God (And in this case, trust Levi. Don’t worry. Explanation to come.)

I’ve been taking this kid for swim lessons since he was 3. While he had great, patient, wonderful swim teachers (Thank you Grace and Paul! You are a BIB reason why he is swimming sans floaties right now. All those years of positive experiences in the water, finally paid off!), we’d end each week long session with him still afraid to let go of his teacher in the water. Still not swimming.

We’d swim throughout the summer. And maybe we could have exposed him to the water more often. I felt like we went to the pool often enough, though. Yet, at the end of each summer he was still wearing the floaties and still afraid to let go in the water.

So a few things contributed to him swimming: I think a huge part of it was just maturity and growing up. Every kid is different as when it will click for them whether it comes to reading, getting potty trained, or swimming.

Also, peer pressure. Nothing motivates you faster than seeing all your friends swimming in the deep end without floaties. Parents, don’t underestimate the power of positive peer pressure.

Lastly, I think God drops people into your life to speak to you in a slightly different way than others have before. You hear it, accept it, or just connect with a person in a certain way. You may have heard a message a million times; but a speaker delivers the same message in a different way or when you are in a different place in your life and IT JUST CLICKS.

We only had 3 days of swim lessons for an hour each day. My hopes were high but realistic.

Fortunately, we started these lessons off with him fully putting his head under the water right from the get go. But as Levi pointed out, Henry had a death grip (and he does). He was not letting go.

It’s kinda hard to learn to swim in the deep end if you don’t let go of the hand in the shallow end.

After the first day of lessons:

“Levi is not going to let you sink, Henry. He just isn’t. Even if you began to sink, he’s right there. He’ll pull you up. You just have to trust Levi.”

“It’s hard to trust, mom.”

“I know, babe. That’s the whole thing, though. That’s what trust is. It’s not easy. It is hard. You can do it.”

Second day of lessons:

Levi: “Henry, you just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it and then just do it.”

And he did.

He let go.

He swam. Across the shallow end of the pool.

He then wanted to learn to dive off the side of the pool. And he did.

He made the decision to trust and he just did it.

Or Levi has some sort of magical super power. Either way, the kid swam!

Later that day he was jumping off the diving board into the deep end, without floaties, and swimming like he’d been doing it for years. I was flabbergasted. I was grateful. I was doing a happy dance. I was so proud of him. I was relieved.

The third and final day of lessons was like watching a completely different kid. Where did this fearless guy come from? Two days later we were swimming at Morton’s Warm Springs with family. We had just picked up Lily from Jr. High camp and he surprised her by jumping into the pool without his floaties. Her face was priceless. His face was full of pride.

We asked him, “What made you decide to let go and just swim?”

Henry: “Mom told me to trust, Levi.”

Are you laughing? I am. It’s taken 5 years, and I don’t necessarily think he would have been swimming at 3 if Levi was his teacher. I think it was the right time, the right swim teacher, and it was God’s plan to use this experience to teach my little guy about trust. This is the first of many times, he’s going to need to trust God. Andy and I are going to be able to use this lesson with him for years to come. Hey, God is using Henry’s swim lessons to teach ME about trust.

I hope I remember all this when my kids aren’t doing something in the timeline that I feel is appropriate or convenient for me.

Hey Mamas, as you go into this week, whatever is happening too fast or too slow in your life just remember, trust God. Are your kids taking way too long to learn a lesson or don’t seem to be improving at all? Trust God’s timing. Trust is as equally simple as it is hard.

Are your kids needing to learn to swim? Give Levi a call.

Hey Mamas, As you end the school year, remember this…..

It’s May which means things are both winding down for the school year while at the same time spinning out of control. Am I right?

End of year parties, graduations, award ceremonies, school open houses, teacher gifts, final tests. If you have kids, there are still birthday parties, family birthdays, and possibly sports (Is anyone else still neck deep in baseball?)

While everything is heightened and a bit wonky in May, we still have to do the normal, everyday mundane little tasks that keep the wheels turning. You know, the little things like cooking, doing laundry, bathing your children and my least favorite task- grocery shoppping. Ok, it’s really a toss-up between grocery shopping and laundry. Anyways……..

So, take a step from the madness of May and look at your year? How did it go? Did your mind instantly fill up with all the ways you fell short? All the things that didn’t get crossed off the list? All the projects and activities that you thought for sure you would do, yet still lay unfinished? Are you automatically thinking of how you failed?

As a homeschool mom, I instantly thought of where I wanted to end up in all my subjects and where we actually stopped. (We are not year round homeschoolers. Mama needs a break!) I thought of the projects and fieldtrips that never came to pass. Yes, I unfortunately looked around at what other moms did with their kids and instantly felt less.

So let’s do something wild and what seems to be against our natural tendencies. Let’s look at what we did well. Let’s celebrate the heck out of it. Let’s end this year feeling like rock stars because in reality we are way too hard on ourselves. Shame never motivates anyone to do better. So why do we heap shame on ourselves, Mamas, by automatically looking at where we fall short and not on where we shine?

Maybe you are feeling awesome about your year. Maybe you needed to read this today. I needed to write it for myself. I’m choosing to focus on what went well. (I’m also reevaluating how I can make next year better.)

Here’s what went well. Here’s what I’m proud of. How about you?

*I taught Henry to read. He’s on the road to hopefully loving books. The fact that I’ve taught both my kids to read has been one of my greatest joys.

*We did our Morning Basket time pretty regularly this year. This is something I’ve been trying to get going for two years. This year we did it. We read some amazing chapter books during that time.

*I restarted my garden this year. Things are actually growing.

*We took some fun, short trips with the kids during the school year. We went to Yosemite in the winter for just a few days (This was on my bucket list.) We’ve hiked more and have gotten outside more with the kids this year.

*There have been a few friends God has allowed me to get to know better and develop deeper relationships with. This has been such an unexpected gift!

I’d love to hear what went well in this past year for you. Let’s celebrate each other!!!

45 Reasons to Be Thankful

At the moment I’m sitting in a bed and breakfast, in the town of Mendocino, 2 1/2 hours from my hometown. As I look out my room window, I see the white weathered steeple of a church across the street. And I know that just beyond that church, a bit out of my eyesight, is the sea.

I turned 45 yesterday. Andy surprised me (as in I had no idea where I was going until I got there) with a birthday getaway. We are closing in on our second day away. We will head home tomorrow. It’s been so lovely being away, just with him, having an adventure. Two thoughts keep coming back to me and I can’t help but smile.

Number one: I was kissed by a giraffe yesterday! I touched that oddly beautiful face and fed it sweet potato slices. It was pretty magical.

Number two: I am unequivically and without a doubt middle aged now. There’s no denying it, no spinning it, no fudging. I’m middle aged. How. Did. That. Happen?

Just the other day I was 25 and starting a new teaching job. I had just moved to a brand new city and I met this guy…………..

20 years later: 2 kids, 3 dogs, 5 houses and completely different careers

Our life is busy, crazy, messy and I absolutely love it.

Year 44 was hard for me. It was hard and yet so much good came from it. God asked me to do and accept some difficult things. It can be a bit heartbreaking when life and people change and there is nothing you can do about it. So as I look down the barrel of 45, guess what I see ? Yes, more change. But I’m not afraid. Because change has helped me grow. I say, “Bring it on.”

Well, maybe I’m not that gung-ho about change. I’ll be honest. I do know, though, that everything will be good and God will have me where he wants me and how he wants me. That is what 44 taught me.

Being stretched can be scary and super uncomfortable; but I’m thankful for it.. More than anything, it reminded me how I need to depend on God for my strength and peace, completely. I feel like 45 is going to be amazing. I don’t know. I just have a feeling.

The months leading up to my 44th birthday were not my best. On the outside I probably looked fine; but inside I was not myself at all. My heart was sad and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull myself out of a terrible funk. Looking back, I had some very unhealthy relationships. I needed to set boundaries, I needed to say, “No, I can’t do that for you.” I painfully needed to do some letting go.

But when I did, it made room for new things. New friendships. Reconnecting. I was willing to open up my mind to new things, even if they were out of my box and comfort zone. I learned (still learning) to not let my circumstances determine how I approach my life.

I spent a little bit of day one of year 45 writing down 45 things to be thankful for. I tried to be as specific as possible. Even if it was something that seemed silly or small, if it brought me joy or taught me a lesson, I wrote it down.

While I’ve done quite a bit of reflecting; I’m doing some dreaming too.
I hope when I’m 80, I’m still trying new things, going on adventures with my family, taking leaps of faith and making room for new friends and possibilities. You know the saying, “God isn’t done with me yet.” ? I can’t think of a better way to look at life.

2 Must Haves Oils For This Cold and Flu Season

 

Friends, our family has been hit hard this cold and flu season.

Not only did we get hit hard this season; (It’s only mid November as I write this by the way.) we got hit early.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was not “How were we getting sick again?” and it was barely November; but that I got knocked flat on my butt for a good week. A week! That’s just horrible for a mama. I mean, it’s almost disastrous.

It hasn’t helped that we’ve been covered in smoke here in NorCal; but I saw the writing on the wall. “This is going to be a tough winter.” I was using my oils; but not as diligently as I should have been. I know we need more sleep and need to make better choices to have a healthier winter. So a new blog series is born: How To Stay Healthy This Winter

During this fall and winter season, I’ll be sharing ways I’m helping to keep my family healthy. I know there is no magic pill to keep us 100% germ free; but I’m determined to be more diligent in building up our immune systems.

Have any tips to share with me? I’d love to learn from other moms and grandparents and caregivers.

Here’ s my first two tips and they include two of my favorite oils.

1.) Have Thieves on hand ALWAYS and use it in multiple ways.

My favorite way to use Thieves (The Immune Booster) is to just diffuse it in my diffuser. 5-6 drops and that wonderful blend of Rosemary, Cinnamon, Lemon, Clove and Eucalyptus is diffusing throughout your house.

Thieves tea is my next favorite. This is especially wonderful for sore throats and all the germs that come along during this season.

Rubbing Thieves on the bottom of your kiddo’s feet before they head out to school or even before they go to sleep at night is a great way to boost their immune system.

2.) R.C. (Respiratory Care)

You’ve got a powerful blend of Spruce, Cypress and 3 kinds of Eucalyptus.

I’ve made my own chest rub and it’s super simple. 10 drops of R.C. in a 4 oz. jar of Unrefined Coconut Oil. Blend well.

Diffusing R.C. has also worked well for my kids, especially my little guy.

 

This fall and winter season has gotten off to a rough start; but I’m hoping to turn that around. Praying for healthier days and for the smoke to clear (and the fires to stop) in my beautiful California.

 

Interested in getting started with Essential Oils? Click here. I’d love to help.

And So She Writes:: A Girl And Her Blog

No matter how far I stray.

No matter how much I neglect her.

No matter how long it’s been since I’ve hit that “Publish” button.

No matter the seasons of my life that come and go, she is steady. She’s always there waiting for me to come back to her. To spend time with her.

My trusty keyboard.

On many days it’s my spiral bound notebook. Or take your pick because I have many spiral bound notebooks.

I need time to stop and a bit of quiet. Believe me. That bit of quiet is rare these days. But when I do have it, all the words come tumbling out onto the page. Today it’s the computer screen.

And somehow from this jumble of words, thoughts, questions and feelings, I piece things together. They begin to make sense. The root of what’s been churning in me, troubling me, begins to come clear. That brilliant idea that’s been trying to surface begins to emerge. What’s been making me anxious, once it’s written down in plain sight, is not so scary as my head was making it out to be. God reveals those deep and quiet truths and my praise and worship back to Him take form in writing.

I just need to write.

I still need people to talk to.

I do.

I have this trusty and loving handful of souls that listen patiently.

But when my insides feel jumbled or I have big things to work through, writing it out has always been my way of sorting all my stuff. It’s how I best process my thoughts and feelings. And sometimes I share those thoughts and feelings with everyone, for some crazy reason.

Maybe because I know others need to hear that they aren’t the only ones who are grappling with life. Maybe because there is a connection people feel to each other when we share and see that we aren’t so different after all. Or maybe we are different and that’s what makes like so beautiful and interesting. Different often lends perspective.

For me I just say it so much better when I write it. I say things through the tapping of the keys and the scratching of the pen that I just can’t say out loud or face to face.

That’s why coming back to this space again and again is something I cherish so deeply. Sometimes the space is my trusty ol’ notebook that no one will ever see but me; and other times it’s right here on this screen. I’m so thankful for a place to share, a place to create and hopefully encourage. I’m equally as thankful for an audience, big or small, who keep reading.

Thanks for reading,

Jen

 

You Don’t Need To Be Great At Everything

So, I’m not a very good cook. I’m just not.

Don’t feel bad for me. It doesn’t really bother me. It used to, for sure. But not anymore. My family gets fed and that’s what’s important.

I cannot for the life of me keep up on my laundry. I suppose I could if I really, really tried. But I don’t. It’s just not at the top of my priority list right now. We have clean, dry clothes. They are just piling up as I write in a nice, clean, wrinkled, wadded ball. The thing is, I’d rather be writing.

I’m not good at saving money or finding deals. I have friends who whip out the coupons, get things for free or manage to score great deals. Not me. I save money by doing one simple thing: Not spending it. I just go without. Not clever but it gets the job done.

It’s easy to think of what you aren’t good at. So, let’s change gears.

For some reason I thought there was this list of what “good moms” did. Where I got this idea from, I’m not really sure.

On that list included delicious home cooked meals each night (nothing processed), folded laundry (that was put away), sewing lessons with my daughter (when I can barely sew myself), a house that was always picked up and windows that weren’t smudged. It also included pinterest-worthy birthday parties, children’s rooms that were always picked up and an immaculent kept up yard.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love all those things (maybe not the pinterest-worthy birthday parties) and have done (or attempted) all those things. But not all at once! Oh, I’ve  tried to do them all at once. I’ve tried and failed.

Throw in kids, two adorable but stinky dogs, a husband’s crazy work schedule and you get the picture……..

I’m happiest when I’m not trying to do “all the things”. And when my season of life calls for doing “all the things”, I’m happiest when I’m not trying to be “super awesome” at everything I do.

Let’s focus on what we are stellar at and celebrate it. The other things have to get done. My family has to wear clothes, preferrably clean. But there is no “good mom list”. So as Elsa would say, “Let it go.”

So, here is what I am good at:

I’m good at making special memories for my kids. The first day of school, birthdays (And I’ve taken down the whole birthday business by several notches!), holiday traditions, etc. It’s my jam and I love doing it.

I’m flexible. I’m not so stuck to a schedule that I can’t stop and have fun with my kids. Or go on an impromptu adventure with the family. I think that’s pretty important.

Again, not the best cook; but I’m a good host. I’m good at opening up my home for birthdays, celebrations, home school co-op days or coffee with friends.

I think all those things make me a good wife, mom and friend.

What are you good at? Whatever it is, let’s be thankful we aren’t all the same and that we all bring something special to the table. It would be oh so very boring if we were all good at everything all the time, wouldn’t it?

 

One Thing Moms Should Stop Doing

Moms, I used to do this all the time.

Ok, I still do; but I try really hard not to.  I’m more aware of it now so I start to catch myself before I say these words……

“I’m so sorry. My house is a mess.” As a friend comes over for a visit or to drop off a book.

“Sure you can drop by. I’ll be home. I’ve got to warn you, though, my house is a disaster.”

“I can give you a ride. I’m so sorry that my car is such a mess, though.”

Do you want to know the honest, selfish truth? When I walk into your house and it’s a bit of a hot mess; it makes me feel better about my house. Inside I breathe a silent sigh of relief and say, “I’m not the only one.”

On the other hand, if it looks like you should be on an episode of Hoarders, we may need to have a talk or perhaps an intervention.

Most of the time, though, when a friend of mine apologizes for her “horribly messy home”, in my eyes it just looks like she actually lives in her house…… with other people…….who leave their shoes in the middle of the floor and their cups out on the counter.

And for the life of me, I can’t seem to get my dogs to put their bones back into the toy basket. What’s up with that?!?5

What if when people came over we said, “Don’t you love how the sink is full of dishes and the floor littered with crumbs? I chose to play outside with my  kids instead of cleaning.”

I know that’s a little silly; but you get the point.

Mamas of  toddlers and babies, you are playing a whole different game. If you want to take a shower, work out, do something for yourself or work from home, your goal shouldn’t be to have everything picked up during the day. It will change as they get older and you’ll be teaching them to pick up their own toys.

I love and appreciate a picked up house and even shared some tips here; but apologizing for a messy house is something we all need to stop. Deal?

Now that I’m finished writing this post, I’m getting this urge to sweep and pull out the vacuum. Don’t worry, I’ll fight it.

Check out my post 5 Ways to Have a “Clean Enough” House.

3 Oils For a Good Night’s Sleep

 

When you haven’t been getting a restful, deep night’s sleep for far too long and then you do….. you want to shout from the rooftops! Good sleep is so important.

Nothing has me sleep better than when I started diffusing essential oils.

Here are the 3 oils that have helped me sleep like a baby. (Not the newborn or teething baby!!)

Cedarwood: Natural Sedative (It’s a also a natural antiseptic, helps improve focus, and the list goes on.)

Valor: Supports a restful night’s sleep (Smells amazing!)

Orange: Along with helping with sleep it relaxes muscles and boosts immunity. (Google the benefits of orange essential oil. The list is long.)

 

 

These are diffuser blends I use at night. You could run your diffuser for about half an hour and then turn off; but I let my diffuser run until it’s empty.

Sweet Dreams

3 drops Valor

3 drops Cedarwood

 

Sweet Dreams 2

2 drops Valor

2 drops Cedarwood

2 drops Orange

 

Would you like to get started with your oils today???

 

You can grab your Premium Starter Kit here; and let’s get started together.

Want to learn more about oils and how to use them?

Read, Essential Oils 101 What’s In These Bottles Anyways?? here

5 Diffuser Blends To Wake You Up

So my mornings start out pretty much like this……

Turn on coffee.

Let the dogs out.

Put creamer in coffee.

Decide what I’m going to diffuse today.

Then, I can truly start my day. Read my Bible. Check out that To Do List. Start a load of laundry (if I’m feeling ambitious).

Here’s five of my favorite  Diffuser Blends that wake me up and make me happy to be alive:

 

Get Up and Outside

2 drops of Peppermint

2 drops of Lavender

2 drops of Lemon

 

Good Morning

3 drops Orange

3 drops Peppermint

 

Good Morning II

2 drops Orange

2 drops Peppermint

2 drops Lemon

2 drops Lime

 

Get Up and Go

2 drops Lemon

2 drops Peppermint

2 drops Lime

1 drop Basil

 

Focus

3 drops Orange

3 drops Lemon

2 drops Frank

 

Energy

4 drops grapefruit

1 drop basil

Want to learn more about oils? Read this post, Essential Oils 101 (What’s In These Bottles, Anyways???) , here